The Good Life

Chapter 33

Marla sat surrounded by friends, family, co-workers and piles covered with pink and yellow boxes in their enormous house.

“I don’t know what to do with all of these.” she said happily.

“Well you need to open them,” Angie told her.

“I know, that, silly....but…there is just….just so much! So much for one little girl!” Marla glanced down at all the boxes and sighed heavily. Everyone else was gushing over the arrival of the baby, which was coming in two months. Marla had decided to take the year off of school to see what it was like to be a mother, to just be. It was only fair. But, Bruno wasn’t taking any time off. After settling into the perfect home late in the semester they ran off to Hawaii. She loved it. He loved it. It was perfect. Except for the fact that he had to be in Paris for a New Year’s Eve concert. And then it all started over again. He promised her he would be there for her when the baby was there. He was going to take time off after the Grammy’s. She tried to believe him, to continually and unconditionally support him, but it was hard to do when he was only supporting her through text messages, rare skype sessions and late night phone calls that ended in her falling asleep to his voice. And then there was the “let’s get married” thing. When was that going to happen? They never talked about it. When they did they argued. She said she didn’t want to get married just to say they were married. He said it was the right thing to do. It was the only thing they ever argued about. Marla tried to explain to him that it didn’t matter if her last name was Hernandez. It just mattered that the people they loved knew that they loved each other. But that was the best way to show the people they loved that they love each other, to get married – wasn’t it? He would ask her. She had seen so many relationships, in her work, fall apart, after marriage. She didn’t want that to happen. He said they were different. Everything about them was different. They would make it. And then she started to yell and say they weren’t different. They weren’t different at all. And she went on like that until she started to cry. He hugged her and kissed her and said that the two of them weren’t perfect, but who was? And it didn’t matter if they were married or not. Then she would say she was craving shrimp tacos and peanut butter. And he would bring it to her. And everything was perfect again, until the next time.

“Marla, we’ll help you put it all together. You know that.” one of Bruno’s sisters replied as Marla opened a big box – a baby swing. Her expression was one of overwhelming grief. She just had no idea what she was going to do. It didn’t matter if the whole world was going to help her put together a baby bottle, she just wanted one person to help her put together the baby bottle, and that one person wasn’t there. She got up from the chair and walked outside and sat on a bench facing the detached garage. All she could do was cry.

The party goers tried to decide who to send outside to comfort her. Her mother, no. She had tried to comfort her but no matter what she said to her it just made it worse. Lisa? No, she just made it worse because Travis was always there. Angie? No. Just no. They settled on Phil’s wife, who just a year and a half ago and been on a similar journey.

“Marla?” she sat down next to her rubbing her shoulders. “I know it’s hard. It never gets easier. When we were little we wished for the perfect world. A house, 2.5 children, a dog…a picket fence… but there’s this thing called fate that just hits us and for you and me…these two boys just hit us really hard.”

“Too hard.” she got out through her tears. “All I want is for him to be sitting next to me. That’s all I want. I don’t need all these presents, I don’t need this house, I don’t need this fancy new car that we bought. The Jetta was fine. I…I just want…he said he wouldn’t ever let go. He let go.”

One of Marla’s only true equals, Phil’s wife knew almost exactly what she was going through. The couple had two children and had been through the whole year seeing each other as many times as Bruno as she had seen each other. It amazed Marla how committed to each other they were. She saw them together the first time at the m.a.m.a. earth event. It made her smile. As inseparable as Phil and Bruno were before, they were even more inseparable now that Bruno had found Marla. And now it was Urbana’s turn to help Marla sort through all of this.

“This is hard, Mar. I know it. Like really hard. I’ve wanted to give up so many times. Just say ‘fuck it’ and leave. Take the boys and run away to Arizona. Just leave it all. But then I remember that it takes a lot to make it work. And if anyone knows anything about hard work it’s you and it’s Bruno. Maybe in two completely different ways, but the two of you have worked so hard to get to where you are. And you can’t stop just because the last few weeks have been hard.”

Marla stopped to think about her last statement. Last few weeks. She was right. It really has been the last few weeks. It was in the middle of January. This was no different than any other time when he was gone. He would be back. He would hold her and that little baby as tight as she had remembered in only 4 more days. What was she thinking? She was still upset he wasn’t there, at the baby shower opening those gifts with her, but she knew he would be sitting next to her in just days. Just another marathon. She was going to have to start running ultras soon. “You’re right. They’ll be back soon. Let’s go finish up this fiesta.”