I think everyone's been there at one point. Where you're not sure where you're suppose to stand (in a relationship point of view) and by relationship, I mean your definition of what a relationship is, and there's no law saying that it's suppose to be romantic (so you're good ;D). Anyways, the point is, there's been that time where you're not sure what you are and you start asking questions like "wait, what?" "What is this?" and you get a bunch of "whats" and "what if" or "is this it?" questions programmed in your silly head. I don't think it matters, you don't have to have a definition as to what you're "role" is and what it is. Just, do you and if it makes both of you happy then, that's all that matters right? Don't worry if you don't understand what I'm yapping about right now, because it'll all make sense later on. Trust me.
It was my turn for a break when you were still getting trained. Maybe it was the fact that I was staring you down with this big smile on my face but you ended up just quickly nodding your head towards me instead of actually saying my name and waving (way to go self.. creep). I felt relieved and somewhat excited. You disappeared after the break off and now you suddenly appear out of the blue, at the oddest place I never expected to see you again. I wasn't sure how to approach you, we weren't exactly close. We really didn't even talk much but we had a mutual understanding that we played some kind of role in each other's lives (which I might add, was more than human beings living and breathing the same air). A couple of days later, I was on break and I went to the cafe. And there you were on break. I wasn't sure whether I should go ahead and share a conversation, so silly me sat near you instead. I had this two minute war in my head but the "you should go and talk him, he's a friend.." side won, and so that's what I did. I sat in front of you in an instant and I guess I caught you off guard because you weren't exactly sure what to say. "Hey! how are you? Are you on break? [blah blah blah]" "Uh.. Hey. I'm good. yupp. You?" "Yeah!" (insert cricket sounds) I wasn't sure what to say next. You were on your phone and that's one of the things I hated, but then you started talking. "So, how are you? how's life?..." I answered and then you asked some more. Now I was the one caught off guard. I didn't expect for me to feel comfortable and chill to be honest (let's not forget that you're an ex.. an ex of all the titles you can have.) We talked for a bit more and it was one of those conversations that you can only have with a friend you've been close with and you were just catching up, it was nice, really nice. I had to go back because my break was almost over, I asked if you still had the same number (with the intent of becoming friendly) and you said yeah. I yelled out "Wow, I never knew you were cool. Wow. We should go and hang! like whut." Your response was just your hearty laugh, something I never really heard until now, you flashed your smile with your clean nice set of teeth. As I hopped back on a lane, I had the urge to look at my phone to see if a friend of mine has responded. Quickly stealing a glance on my phone, like it was a crime, I scrolled through the list and I was surprised to see your name. I wasn't sure why you would text me when we literally just talked a few minutes ago but I opened it anyways, and it read "Just checking to see if this is you..". I set my phone back in my jeans and the rest of my shift was just a bliss.
