Sapienophobia

Chapter 14

"No...Vera please," I begged.

They shook their head.

"This wouldn't have happened if I just sent you to your family like a responsible adult. The regret is eating me up inside."

You're not the only one.

"No, it's my fault, Vera. I'm grateful for you," my scratchy voice was unable to carry my sincerity.

"That's the problem, Shin," she looked over my bandages, "you shouldn't be."

"How could I not be?!"

I haven't been here long, but I can already tell I'm better off than I would've been if I hadn't signed that contract.
You gave me a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, a chance that cowards like me don't get to come by.
And I blew it.

"My wounds will heal," I reasoned.

"Not all of them. If they can't reattach your finger, you'll need a high-ranking Church..."

My finger? Reattach?

I lowered my pupils to my left hand. It felt lighter than usual, but I assumed that was the drugs I was put on. Vera's words became background noise as I shakily unwrapped my limb. I felt the cloth between my digits loosen and wiggled them to verify. They tingled as I relieved the pressure on my nerves.

All but one.

I removed the bandage to find I was missing the appendage next to my pinky. Dried blood had caked over the wound at my knuckle. The nub was slightly swollen and brown.

I gagged, feeling vomit passing up through my esophagus. I covered my mouth, with the hand of all intact fingers, and Vera brought a bin for me. I released that morning's fish sandwich as a half-liquid brew.

Vera stood with my glass exiting to retrieve what I hoped was more water.

I suddenly had the urge to poke it. The tissue around my bone was meaty, and the bone itself was shaved into a curve.

Vera pushed a fresh glass into the hand I went to touch it with. I hadn't noticed her return.

"The doctor said not to touch it, it might get infected," they plopped back into their seat.

I nodded disappointedly.

I guess that goes for my other wounds too.

I felt hot being insulated by my chest bandages that were wrapped several times over. The water she brought for me was quite cold; it made the bile retreat back to my intestines.

My feet were cold, too, with only gauzes to warm them.

For someone who's alive, they certainly did wrap me like my next destination was the casket.

"I can still complete the bounty," I forced myself back on topic.

"Your new bounty is to rest up," they countered.

It'll be my final bounty too. I barely made it past the halfway point, and our contract is already being rescinded. That's how incapable I am.
If that's so, then I should agree with Vera.

"I can rest when I get Sod," I leaned forward.

I can't. I'm supposed to prove her wrong, prove me wrong.

If I couldn't stop being a coward, I wanted to prevent others from finding out I was one.

"No, Shin," she pushed me back with three of her fingertips.