not sleeping shenanigans

Monday July 18. 9:45 am

Jesus fucking Christ on a stick I'm bored. I'm happier. But bored. I'm being forced to drink water which is ass but I'm happy I found people who are helping. IM WRITING AN ESSAY AS I WRITE THIS.

don't tell anyone but I'm about to drink 2 monsters. And then get some school shit done then pass tf out all day.

Good news tho, I didn't have a nightmare last time I slept. Which is great. And a persecutor of our system had his ass beat and he's currently away from others so he won't cause harm

Idk why but I smell nothing but I taste soap. I don't have soap on my hands, or even near me I just taste it??? It's been happening for months weirdly. Also I'ma start a babysitting job once I'm back home and then I'll start sewing and making dresses!!! :) I have confidence

I think I have an issue tho cus like choke me? Kindly? Just suffocate me. I'm having severe issues rn idk what but sometimes it's a never ending loop of me talking nonsense and bullshit and I just need to let it out but jeez it's alot I'ma write my essay and get back to this after. My essay is about the effects of DID ON A PERSON IDK WHY CAPS LOCK IS ON.

This essay is fuckin ass. 10:05 am. I'm fucking losing my shit rn I want sleep n cuddles but the people that are close friends n such are too far away I just want love Jesus fuck. Anyways.

Now I just feel like shit because there are so many people out there who've hurt me so bad. It hurts that I'm just sitting here waiting for there to be the slightest of hope that they truly didn't abandon me but I think we all know that nobody will ever come back. Nobody has. Nobody cares that much either. So it just hurts to the point I'm just sitting here wasting my time on people who don't deserve it and I'm trying to get over that but God it hurts. Soooooo much. And I'd like to believe they're on a mission. And their missions taking a lot of time because it needs to be done carefully. That's why they're taking so long. Right?

Anyways I think that's good for today's I'll make another if I gotta buy anyways

Publishing now at 10:15 am. Have a wonderful day everyone and remember you're brave.