난로 마냥 거리를 두려 하니까. 그러다 터져버린 거야
"Like a heater, I tried to put some distance. But then I exploded."
꧁꧂
꧁Hyunjin's First Letter꧂
Hello, Changbin.
I did read your letter. And yes, I have many questions.
For starters, I wonder why you expected me to shatter these sincere words that you sent to me into pieces. As you noticed, I might be in such a place, but don't take me for a psychopath, because that's something I am not. I do have emotions, and I am well aware of my condition now, so I would be glad if you didn't address me in that way anymore.
Second, living in the 21st century, isn't it a little old-fashioned to send a letter? I am not judging your choice, just curious. I like it this way, it's simple and meaningful.
As for that day, yes, I remember. Most parts are just blurred, yet I remember you calling me a 'real me'. I don't understand what was or is your point by saying that. I have always been the real me to anyone.
Although, as odd as it might be, I wouldn't be able to put it into words, but I know you are not a complete stranger... Maybe someone from a past life?
If this is some part of your insanity, I might not be as far from it, either. But why am I the only one writing it from a room with blank walls?
Anyway, I apologize if my words are not as gracious, so don't take it to heart. And regardless, I'd like to say I appreciate yours. I am curious to know why you describe me, from all the people a stranger, as the reason for so many changes in your life. It sounds like an interesting topic.
I hope to hear from you soon, Seo Changbin, who I don't know yet.
Hwang Hyunjin.
꧁꧂
The police officer got home late, again. He had been working more at the police station to avoid staying alone in his house. Felix and Chan also invited him to go out that day with them, but he knew he would only be in the middle of the two if he went. So he made his way to his place, as usual.
This time, when he opened the door, Changbin didn't say anything. He knew there was no one to answer him, and it was no use to keep pretending he had someone waiting for him. The man turned on the light switch, and was about to take off his shoes when he noticed the mail on the floor close to the door.
Changbin looked through the mail and saw nothing different. The same bills and correspondence related to his work. But one smaller white envelope called his attention with a handwriting that looked more like calligraphy. It was a little difficult to read at first, but close to the light he could see it read:
Hwang Hyunjin.
Turning the white envelope around and back again, Changbin opened and closed his mouth a few times, but no words came out. The man closed the door behind himself, then slowly walked in the direction of the dining table, where he left his belongings and the rest of the mail. The only thing left in his hands was the white envelope, that seemed to glow, standing out from the others.
In Changbin's mind, Hyunjin would never send him an answer, and that was the only reason why he sent that as a farewell message to the younger. But he was wrong. Changbin was incredibly wrong, and now he was afraid to open said envelope and find out what kind of words Hyunjin had to share with him.
" Hello, Changbin. "
The man pulled a chair, still in the middle of the kitchen, and started to read. Just the first lines made him regret some life decisions and almost want to hide under the table. Changbin took a deep breath and kept reading until his eyes widened in surprise. "What the- Fuck! He probably hates me by now, and thinks I called him a psycho... Good job, Changbin. Good fucking job."
Now the man was standing, with both hands on his nape, while groaning loudly. He left the letter still half unread over the table and went to the bathroom to throw some cold water on his face. Changbin opened the silver faucet and gathered some water on his hands before splashing it over his face a few times. The water fell through his neck and chest, leaving his shirt soaked. He stopped the running water, and stared at his reflection in the mirror, then closed his eyes for a moment, letting another deep breath out through his nose.
There was no use in being embarrassed right now. Hyunjin already read and answered his letter anyway, though Changbin couldn't help but feel frustrated with himself. If he made Hyunjin hate him, he would have to deal with the consequences of it. So he decided to just end it rather sooner than later. The man took off his wet shirt and put it in the laundry basket, then walked back to the kitchen to take the letter. This time, he decided to sit on his bed to read it.
" Second, living in the 21st century, isn't it a little old-fashioned to send a letter?"
Reading the following words, Changbin thought that maybe Hyunjin wasn't furious at him after all, but instead the other took him for a silly, old man. Still, he said he liked it, so it seemed like a good signal. Leaning on the headboard of his bed, the man finished reading the letter, but was still confused with the words, so he had to go through it again. At first, Hyunjin seemed to be offended by Changbin's words, but then he started to share a little of his mind with him, and even asked about his thoughts too.
At the end, Hyunjin apologized for his words and said he wanted Changbin to answer him soon. He could barely believe his eyes were really reading that. So, finally, at the third time he finished following every single word, Changbin smiled. It was a little smile, barely appearing in the corner of his mouth, but it was there, and it had a glimpse of hope.
" I hope to hear from you soon, Seo Changbin, who I don't know yet, " he repeated out loud, " Hwang Hyunjin ".
In the next morning, Changbin decided he would write his answer to Hyunjin in that same day. The first thing he needed to do was apologize to the younger for misinterpreting his words, after all, Changbin never meant to say Hyunjin had no feelings or that he was a cold person. He really just didn't believe the other would want anything with him, a stranger who tried to arrest him in the first and only time they met in person.
That night, Changbin sat on his desk after taking a shower. His damp hair was still dropping on the tower wrapped around his neck, but he didn't mind. The man started to think about how to answer Hyunjin's questions without sounding like a lunatic, before he picked up some paper and a pen. As the last time, he tried to start it a few times, but ended up just letting his mind and heart flow open on the lines.
" Hyunjin, I'm sorry. "
꧁꧂
YOU ARE READING
Heater (Changjin)
FanfictionAfter the traumatic episodes that happened in Changbin and Hyunjin's lives, Changbin sends a farewell letter to Hyunjin, confessing his feelings. What he didn't expect was that the other would answer his letter and want to know him better. or In wh...