Heater (Changjin)

꧁Part Four꧂

"친구라는 말은 어울리지 않아. 그렇다고 키스할 수는 없잖아"

"The word 'friends' doesn't match. But then again, I can't just kiss you"

꧁꧂

The policeman had been extremely busy with work those days. A new mysterious case was leaving him with sleepless nights and a big headache, and specially that week he had to go on a two days trip to another city. There, he planned to interrogate some witnesses that could have important answers related to the case. Now he was going back home aching for a shower and a good night of sleep.

Arriving home, Changbin's drained expression changed into a small tired smile when he noticed the postman had left another letter from Hyunjin. For someone who previously used to take long shifts on purpose, going back home became a promise to find another letter from the younger man in his mail, and Changbin started to look forward to it.

Hyunjin was fine with waiting, but Changbin was not. He was impatient, even eager. As a reward for being a good friend that week, Hyunjin had sent him two letters, one more than usual. The older man was excited to have this surprise when he got home.

After taking a warm shower to relax his tense muscles, the man sat in front of the desk and took the newly arrived letter. Changbin was curious to know what made Hyunjin send him one more letter that week. Maybe he missed him, Changbin thought. That idea made him smile, but then he shook his head to cast out that wishful thinking.

No different from the younger's usual, the first paragraph made the man turn into a cringing mess. Why did Hyunjin have to bring back the topic of his dreams all the time? He thought they were already over it, but it seemed like they were not. Changbin dropped the page on the desk, then released a frustrated scream, throwing his head back.

"Aishi-! Whyyyyy?"

He covered his face with both hands and pretended to half-heartedly cry, before putting himself together and taking the paper again. Hyunjin would tease him forever about that story, and he couldn't do anything about it. With the little dignity Changbin had left, he kept on reading the letter, but when he reached the end, his expression was nothing but a frown.

" ...why you never came to visit me? This short question turned gloomy into upset, and I don't want the upset to become hurt. So this is the last letter I will send you."

The words stung. They pulled a string somewhere deep inside him, making his chest ache. It would be a lie to say Changbin never thought about meeting Hyunjin in person. On the contrary, he had considered it every single day. The man had tried many times going to the clinic before he decided to send his first letter, but never got the nerve to actually go inside. What Hyunjin didn't know was that the reason why he never did it, even afterwards, was because Changbin wanted to respect Hyunjin's privacy. He wanted to take it easy on him.

No matter how much he wanted to see, to hear, or to hold him, in Changbin's eyes Hyunjin was still very fragilized, and imposing his presence on him might be uncomfortable to the younger and push him away. So he waited.

Waiting for days turned into weeks, then months, making Changbin forget about his wants and needs, and focus only on what would be better for the other. If he liked to exchange letters, Changbin was happy with exchanging letters. If he wanted to call him his friend, he would take it gladly. Hyunjin's recovery was what mattered.

When Changbin read Hyunjin's last letter, his chest felt stuffy. Hyunjin was upset, and the reason why he felt like that was no one other than Changbin. It was difficult to tell how " this is a farewell letter " turned into " let's talk about life ", and then into " let's be friends " for the two of them. Now Hyunjin was willing to cut their contact for good if Changbin didn't pay him one visit at least.