'We're just trying to find some color in this black and white world.'
he folded his arms across his chest so that they wouldn't betray him by reaching out to her. the hurt in her eyes made him want to apologize at once, but he was sure that she was better off without him.
she hadn't said a word after he had revealed his secret. he wondered if was she taken aback or mentally reprimanding herself for not realising that there was something wrong with him earlier.
"that's not a valid reason for breaking up with me," she said finally.
"yes, it is!" he insisted, frustration creeping into his voice. "you can do much better than me. i'm a freak."
the force with which he said the last word made her flinch.
"no, you aren't. you're just different. i can handle that."
"can you? do you know what it means to be with me? i can't drive you anywhere. i can't write about the color of your eyes. i can't even appreciate your paintings fully. god, can't you see how ironic it is? the artist and her color-blind boyfriend."
"we're also the writer and the reader," she whispered, but could not stop his tirade.
"do you know what this is?" he asked, pulling out the tag on his shirt.
she looked like she remembered seeing it before, but shook her head.
"it's a tag telling me what color this shirt is and what colors it goes with. my mother put similar tags on all my clothes, because i used to get rude comments for wearing the wrong combinations. i've had to do so much to fit into this world and at the end of the day, i still feel like a misfit."
the tears that had streamed down his face had long dried up, but he angrily rubbed his face as he spoke.
"opportunities that others take for granted have never been available to me. my career choice is dependent on my disability. daily tasks aren't always simple for me. i need special lenses and sunglasses just to take a walk in the park on a sunny day, because without them everything looks like an overexposed photograph."
he knew that the way she perceived him would change with his words. she would no longer see him as the mysterious boy who sat in deserted fields at night because he wanted to. she would now know he was the boy who was afraid of facing reality and preferred to stay up all night because at least in the dark, he could pretend he was normal.
she would see the boy who could believe in anything but himself.
he felt inadequate and pathetic, so he muttered something about having to leave and started to head towards the door.
"does my opinion even matter?"
her voice was cold and stopped him in his tracks.
"i might not understand all the problems you have to face, but i do know that i'm willing to help you face them. i might have to make certain changes to support you, but i'm ready to make them. our relationship, like every other relationship, is not going to be easy, but i love you so i'm going to try to make it work and you better do the same."
he stared at her, slack-jawed. she had confessed her love for him for him and threatened him in the same breath.
"that's not fair," he managed to say, "you can't destroy my will to leave with such a spectacular yet menacing declaration of love."
she strode across the room and put her arms around him. he returned the embrace and wondered how he could have ever convinced himself that he could do without it.
-
One more chapter for this story to end! Mixed feelings about that. c:
