At the touch of our hands reaching for the door, we look deep within each others eyes only for a few seconds. We are interrupted by the knock on the door, I tell her I will get it. She leaves me alone to join the rest and I answer the door.
Bryson is here, I am really confused. Why is he here at this hour? We had already agreed on linking up tomorrow. I greet him with a nervous smile, he understands the distance, but he wont take it, he pulls me for a warm embrace in his muscular arms. Holding me tight as if he is afraid the wind will blow me beyond his reach. His cologne intoxicating my senses and sending me into a frenzy. The embrace is short lived as I feel the cold breeze brush against my skin.
Feeling a presence behind me I move a safe distance away from Bryson and check who it is. Dia and Rose seem to be snooping in on my love life. I ask the girls politely to give us some space and I close the door on my way out to speak with Bryson privately. As always neither one of us know where to start with the conversation so spend minutes just staring at each other and fidgeting with our hands. He starts of by telling me how I fucked him up with my curiosity and that he was not ready. I do admit I never asked him if he was comfortable with doing any of that stuff. I just jumped into the whole thing.
What I did was done on impulse an uncalculated action, it was in the mist of the moment. You cant blame me for wanting to have a little fun, thats not how I want to live. However, I do blame myself for feeding into my curiosity especially the way I did. I dont want to lose either one of them. I want things to go back to normal, to be in his warm embrace, for him to look at me with the glistening lust in his eyes. I unconsciously wrap my arms around muscular body and start crying. Crying for messing up, for not being as faithful to him as he has, for ruining what could have been something amazing something special. I cry my unspoken shame as he wraps his arms around my small figure and tells me everything is gonna be alright. We just need to figure it out. He wipes a tear away, looks me with sincerity in his brown eyes, reminding me why I fell in love with him in the first place. I pull him in for a kiss. Our lips intertwined in their own rhythm as he pulls me closer to his chest and I jump to wrap my legs around his waist. His hands snaking around my body, lifting my gown up giving the cold air access to my warm skin.
Unfazed by the cold atmosphere, we continue to explore each other, it had been weeks. Had there been a group meeting (Bryson Anonymous) for him, I would have gotten my two weeks sober chip. He moves his warm hand to unzip his pants and shifts my panties to the side. I feel him play with the rim of my entrance and I want nothing but for him to fill me with his being. I am a greedy person after all, and he knows how to toy with me. I enjoy the torture; I even live for it.
Just as I am about to complain I feel him shove it right in me and start pounding in me. I moaned a bit too loud in the beginning and started breathing heavily at his neck as he left marks on my shoulder and thighs holding me with a tight grip for dear life. The pain on this grip is what I love most during our intermate time, its how I believe it to be real.
