rain. |h.s|

24

Noelle Benjamin

I'm gonna drop on the floor right here and start bawling.

Everything around me is Columbia. Ever since I miraculously got in, don't even ask me how that happened, it's all around me. I got into Sarah Lawrence, Fordham, and King's. But of course Columbia is my first choice. It was either this or NYU. I start classes in three days. It all seems so unreal. I can't even comprehend it. How the fuck did I get into an Ivy League? I mean I wasn't dumb in school, but I never thought I was smart enough to get into a school like Columbia. I found out yesterday but I still can't get over it. Harlow bought me a Columbia sweatshirt which is the cutest thing ever. Of course I had to buy everyone a piece of merch from Columbia. I got Zayn a hat, Niall and Harry a t-shirt, and Har a custom necklace. It's corny, I know. But I'm proud of myself for making it this far.

It's July 13th. It has almost been a month since we moved here. It feels surreal. Like none of this is really happening. That I'm going to wake up in my bed in Cardiff and realize this was all a dream. Part of me wishes that does happen. That I can wake up to the smell of my mom making me pancakes even though I have no time to eat them before school.

But this is everything I could've wished for. Lethal is off the face of the Earth, Harry's not being a pain in my ass, Zayn visits a bunch, and I'm going to attend an Ivy League in three days.

I'm home alone for the rest of today. Niall and Harlow are going on their first official date. She yelled at him a few nights ago, telling him that he doesn't realize how much she does for him and she wants to go on proper dates like normal couples. So since that night, Niall promised to take her out at least once a week.

Zayn's busy tonight too. He's going out with some girl he met at the grocery store. I told him it was a bit risky since none of us know her, but he was persistent. Apparently she has good boobs. Now I really have to meet her.

Harry's doing... I don't really know at this point. He said he was going out to meet with some friends last night but then this morning he said he's going to the doctor. I'm not really questioning him anymore. I'm just glad I have the house to myself. I have my whole day planned out. It's going to be relaxed but productive.

It's about 12 and I already showered, washed the dishes, and ordered takeout.

I pull my hair into a ponytail and start walking up the stairs to impatiently wait for my food. Right as I reach the second step, the doorbell rings. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, pressing my lips together.

I unlock the front door, assuming one of them came back because they forgot something. But when I see who the person behind the door is, I can't tell which emotion washes over me.

"Hi." Alex gives me a light smile.

"You're safe with me. It'll all be over soon." He practically laughs as he says that. Like this is a joke. That this is for the enjoyment of us both.

"No! No! No! Please!" I continue to beg, hoping any cry will convince him to stop. He laughs into my neck while my legs struggle underneath him.

My lips part and my eyes widen, but no words form in my mouth. I just stand there, not running away or inviting him inside. I mean why would I? The last I saw him, he was trying to assault me. There are a hundred questions floating around in my head along with the twenty sirens telling me to slam the door shut on his fingers that are resting on the doorframe. He doesn't say anything either. After another minute or so of registering who the hell is standing in front of me, I run. Yes. I fucking sprint away from him.

To my worst absolute nightmare, he follows me inside without an invitation.

"I know this is crazy for you, but I just want you to let me explain, okay?" He jogs around the couch, trying to stop me from running.