It's the feeling of complete and utter loneliness. The feeling when you're the last one awake at night. The one who never knows anything. When your friends come and go with the school season and you're then left isolated for three months until you're noticed again in the fall. But then act as the same person, even though your mindset changes with the wind.
Hey, would you like to go swimming tomorrow? Or maybe get lunch and drive around?
Sorry, I haven't been on my phone today
Oh, that's okay
But they were with the friend they left you for. The one who knows everything you don't. The one they get drunk with. The one who buys vapes for them. What do I have to compete with when I indulge in neither?
Answer: absolutely nothing
It really is the feeling of complete and utter loneliness that keeps you up late enough to be the last one awake. The feeling when you have nobody to talk to during the day, when your closest friend of nine years never tells or ever told you anything. So then you reciprocate, and dissociate further into being alone. And farther away from that friend.
It feels as though I've moved to a new town, where I don't know anybody, and nobody knows me. Except I've never moved, and this is the same town I've always known. The feeling of being an outsider. All alone, and nobody to turn to
YOU ARE READING
journal of sorts
De TodoThis is just going to be me expressing myself when I'm sad. Nobody from real life knows me on here so It's easier for me - not that anyone would read it anyways
