Forty-four

Grin! Grin!! Grin!!!... repeatedly and he woke up cursing under his
breath at the idiot whose phone was giving off a much irritating ring…
bloody idiot he cursed before slowly realizing it was his phone and it
was him who had chosen that particular alarm tone for its piercing ring.
He stood up just in time to press the stop option before the alarm
went into auto-snooze; 5:45am his phone clock displayed. So he’d
been asleep for invariably two hours and fifteen minutes after
spending the night out with the boys, getting back at 2:30am and
finally falling asleep at 3.30am and then he remembered everything;
the cause of his pain, the reason why he’d been so sad recently and
had to be literally dragged out by the guys to try and help him forget...
GABRIELLE !!!; the mere thought of her name was still too much to
handle; he could sense himself tearing up. Gabrielle the angel, the
she-devil, the beauty, the jezebel, the wonder-girl, the seductress, the
love of his life who had slowly woven her way into his heart; basically
walking in as though she owned the place; taking him to levels of
elation and ecstasy he never thought he could experience and then
out of nowhere leaving him out in the cold to hang and dry without
second thoughts or any emotion all under the premise of “I’ve found
someone better who has concrete plans for me” , pssf, fuck that!
Screw him and screw concrete, lol imagine he paused to think - the
irony being that he was into building construction and he knew what concrete was to a great detail – but still screw him and screw concrete
he muttered under his breath as he shook the thought. Battling those
thoughts, he said a quick prayer; it was 5.53am now he had quite a
jammed day ahead but he’d gotten up by this time so he could afford
himself the luxury of his new favorite pastime – wallowing in silence
before dawn - to avoid prying questions from “concerned” people.
He just seemed to love being free to peer into semi-darkness and
wallow and brood so deep sometimes tears would trickle down
depending on how much emotion he could muster. It’s okay for a man
to cry he’d read online somewhere besides crying helps to wash the
eyes, keep em clean too he told himself, reminding himself of what he’d
learnt in biology class way back nodding his head in concurrence like a
five-year-old girl who’d just won an argument against her mum with
daddy’s help.
This was his reality now, he’d been a wreck for as far back as memory
served from being a loner to being claustrophobic to being branded a
proud sadistic anti-socialite to depression to paranoia to insomnia,
well he had his plate full already and now heartbreak too? Please the
world should end already and put an end to this torment. I mean I
never asked for this to be honest; I never asked to be here. A cock’s
crow and he checked his phone 6.16am and he exhaled just 44
minutes left.