Summer in our bones ✓

23 | lick

The Spanish winter is harsher and colder than I expected, but Nico is warm. I have not felt the warmth in winter like this before, not until he lifts his head from the pillow of my bed to meet my gaze, a rare sight of those summer freckles lining the swell of his cheeks as he smiles.

We rarely spend time in my apartment—it is too empty, cold and lacking any personal touch and comfort that Nico's place offers but today I had to pack for an early morning flight that will take me abroad for a week, so we agreed that he should come over instead. There's a random football match on my bedroom TV, but neither one of us is paying attention to it. We're scrolling on our phones, splayed out lazily on my bed with my suitcases packed next to it.

"Come here," I say while I'm switching my front camera on. "Think a week is going to be too long without seeing your face."

I jokingly cover his eyes with my palm while squishing his face to mine, hold up my phone and snap a picture. He laughs loudly and carefree. I smile too and take another selfie, this time both of our faces are bright and open.

He is smiling so much. The difference between Nico now and Nico when I first saw him in Madrid is astounding. He's more relaxed, less pessimistic. Sometimes I worry he'll go back to that bad headspace, that Sofia will call one day and tell him to leave me for whatever reason, and he will immediately listen to her. She has that power. I guess it's true when they say, once bitten twice shy.

"Hey," gentle fingers are reaching out and smoothing my apparently furrowed eyebrows, "What's going on in this pretty head of yours,m?"

I learnt to ignore when Nico calls me pretty, and just take it as a compliment.

"Nothing."

He hums, adjusting himself to inch closer, the movement drawing me into him until I'm leaning a cheek against his shoulder.

"Did you visit Sofia recently?" I have to ask. I am worried about her health too, I'm not a dick who wishes for her to stay in that place forever in order for me and Nico to live happily. I want her to be healthy and okay with what Nico and I are doing. And I don't want him drowning in guilt.

"I visit her every day, you know that," he replies, "Well except when I have to travel for work, but I'm avoiding those long trips now, it's usually a weekend and I'm back."

"Wait," he stills like he realizes that my question wasn't so random, " is that what got you worried?"

"I'm not... worried. Just... I don't know. Forget it."

"She knows, Jordan. I told her about us. I mean, she knows that I like you. She knows that she doesn't stand a chance. And she's fine with it. I didn't want to mention you in the beginning but the other day she asked if I have a boyfriend and I couldn't lie to her again. So I said yeah, and she immediately guessed it was you." He chuckles, shaking his head but I stopped listening to other words that are coming out of his mouth, focused only on that word, the b-word, "Told you we can sense stuff about each other, it's so weird sometimes, I swear. Anyway, she's happy for me, and..."

I press my forehead into his neck, sinking into his embrace even more. "So I'm your boyfriend now, huh?"

"I want you to be. If you're comfortable with that of course. I mean, it doesn't mean anything, it won't change much, we'll keep doing what we're doing regardless of what we call it but..."

"Nico. Shut up", I whisper while my fingers absentmindedly play with the gold necklace around his neck, "Don't you see that there's nothing that I'm uncomfortable with anymore when it comes to you?"

He laughs at the top of my head and kisses me there. I'm so gone for him.

"Nothing?" His fingertips are sneaking under the collar of my t-shirt and continue lower, brushing over the length of my spine. I'm dizzied by the magic that is his touch.