He Told Me...

I'm Strong

It was a few days after Jax told me I was smart. I felt a lot less sick now. It was just sickness. That was it. I wasn't in love. I wasn't.

I needed to clear my head, so I went to the gym. After a few sets of pushups and sit-ups, I walked over to the pull-up bar. I grabbed the bar above my head and pulled myself up then lowered myself. It went on like this for a few minutes. Up, down, up, down, up, down.

I stopped after a few more minutes and I dropped from the bar, my feet hitting the ground without making a single sound. I had gotten used to dropping from this pull-up bar. I came here a lot. It really helped me think.

I felt so much better already. Then I started running laps around the room. After a few laps, I decided to start lifting weights instead. I fall into a rhythm that's similar to the pull-up bar.

Up, down, up, down, up, down. My man's wanders to the weird, strange, sick feeling I've been getting lately. What was up with that? Did I catch it from someone else? Was it something I could spread?

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when I hear the gym doors open. I don't turn to see who it is. I think I already know.

After a moment, I put down the weights and turn to face the person that entered. My heartbeat begins to speed up. It's not because of him. It isn't. It can't be. It's from exercising. That's all. End of story.

"Did you need something?" I ask. My stomach is doing gymnastics. They're doing five backflips in a row, now a front flip, a cartwheel, and a perfect landing! Oh no, wait, no! They fell! And there you have it ladies and gentlemen! She fell in love! Nooo!!!

Stop that! Quick! Start thinking about something else! Why is he here? What does he need? What is going on? I am not in love.

"I was looking for you. Our friends want us to meet them in the library later. They're planning a birthday party. They told me to come ask if you wanted to join." Jax says.

"Oh! Sure! I'll be right there. Just let me finish up in here then I'll get going." I say, tugging at the end of my ponytail.

"Do you need help with anything? I can put some of the weights away if that'll make it go faster." Jax offers.

"You don't have to. I mean, I can do it myself but if you want to help I guess I'm not going to stop you." I reply, picking up two of the weights I was using. Jax picks up two of the other weights I was using and he looks a little surprised as he does.

"Wow. These are heavy!" He says, looking over at me.

"I-I mean I guess so. You know, they aren't the heaviest weights here but I guess they are pretty heavy." I look away, my face heating up.

Jax raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. We both walk over and put the weights where they go. I fix my ponytail and make sure I'm not a complete mess. Afterward, I start to walk to the door.

"Are you coming?" I ask when I realize that J isn't following me.

"Hm? Oh, no. I have something that I have to do." He answers, taking a few steps toward me anyway.

"Oh. That's too bad. I guess I'll see you later then." I say, turning to face him.

"Yeah. I'll see you later." He says as he stops walking, standing in front of me.

"Yeah. See you later... I-Is there anything else you needed to tell me?" I ask, playing with the friendship bracelet on my wrist. Maxine and AG worked together to make them for all of us. Mine is blue and purple. Everyone else in the group has one as well.

Jax just looks at me for a moment. He's looking directly into my eyes. My face starts to heat up even more. This is bad. I'm still not in love. I am not.

"You're strong." Jax says finally, then kisses my forehead and walks away.

Oh no. This is bad. This is terrible! Why?! Why me?! Why him?!

I can't be in love with my best friend! No! No! No no no no no no no no no!

I am not in love!

... Why is it so hard to lie to myself? Nooooooo. Fine. I guess it's time to accept it.

I'm in love.