He Told Me...

He Loves Someone

I sit on my bed with one arm under my head and the other arm around my pillow. A glass of water is on my nightstand next to an apple and a book. I haven't left my room all week and Miri has threatened to get me detention multiple times. I don't care right now though. I need to think.

I've accepted my feelings, but my feelings scare me. He might think of me as only a friend. Maybe that would be best. I don't know what changed. We used to be best friends and that was enough. We were just friends. No romantic feelings, no crushes, almost no drama. What changed? What made me feel this way?

I grew up. People started saying we should date. They started putting that idea in my head. That's one of the things that happened. I'm sure there's more though. Jax is Jax. He doesn't care what people say or think. He isn't always responsible. He likes to have fun and mess around. He likes to break rules and get in trouble. He likes to help people too.

He saved my brothers. It almost cost him his life too. That was one of the most terrifying moments in my life.

"Hey Gilly? Can I talk to you for a moment please. It's not really all that important but I really need to ask you for your advice." A voice says. Of course, it's Jax.

"Oh! Sure! No problem! What do you need? What's the problem?" I ask, getting up and opening the door for him.

"It's not really too important but when I asked Ollie for his advice I decided not to use it and that you might be a better person to ask." Jax says, walking through the door and sitting down on a chair that was recently added to my dorm.

"What was his advice? Was it really that bad?" I ask, walking over and sitting down on the chair next to his.

"Well... It wasn't exactly the best advice ever. I don't think you'd agree with it. The question was... Well... Um... I-I need some advice on how to confess to someone that I like." Jax stammers.

"Oooooh! You have a crush? Well now I need to know what your question is. I would also love to hear what Ollie said." I say even as my stomach twists and my heart falls.

"Fine. I like a girl. I want to know how I should tell her how I feel. Ollie said that I should just walk up to her and kiss her but I definitely don't think that's a good idea. I was wondering what your opinion would be. You know, because you're a female too so you might know how she would want someone to confess to her." Jax says quickly, playing with his sleeves.

"Well you're right. You shouldn't just kiss her. Though, I would pay to see how she might react to that. Maybe she'd punch you in the face." I say, punching his arm lightly.

"She probably would. Especially if I did without explaining anything." Jax agrees, looking over at me. There's something in his eyes. I can't tell what it is, but it's definitely something.

"My advice would probably be to just, I don't know, talk to her? Be yourself? I don't know, I've never really confessed to anyone before. Oh! You can practice with me! I'll pretend to be the girl you like and you can pretend to confess to me." I suggest.

Jax seems to blush at that, but he nods his head in agreement. Why is he blushing? Is something wrong? Maybe it's just the temperature. It is kind of warm in here.

"So, how should I act? Do you like a fancy girl or like, a troublemaker, or what?" I ask, letting my hair out of its usual ponytail.

"Just act like yourself I guess. Answer how you would answer and react how you would react." He answers, blushing and looking away from me. That was definitely a blush. What's that about?

"Alright. So ponytail. I don't have to do a fancy braid or anything." I say, putting my hair back up.

"Yeah, no. Nothing like that. Just... yeah. You be you and I'll be me." Jax says.

"Okay. I can do that. Just let me get into character." I joke, pretending to do a few acting warmups.

"Gilly. I'm serious. This is serous." He says, staring at me while I continue 'warming up'.

"I know. I'm serious too. I agree that this is serious. So seriously let me finish my warmups. They're very important for every actor/actress. You should know this. You've acted before. Wait no, you don't remember that." I say, fixing my shirt and dusting off my pants. This makes me think back to when we sort of performed a play/musical. I was a tree. It was very strange.

I clear my throat and then immediately go back to the way I was sitting before, as if nothing had changed.

"Alright. Can we start now?"

"Yes. We can. I've finished with my very important warmups and stretches, after all."

"Okay. So I'll just use your name. 'Gilly... I've liked you for a while now and I had to tell you..." Jax begins.

Oh goodness. What is this? What am I feeling right now? I can't be jealous. I can't be. That's not something that happens to me. Right? It's just heartbreak maybe. I can move past this. I'll live. We can continue being friends and everything will be fine. It will be fine. It's fine. I'm fine.