Eccedentesiast

Abditory

(Noun)

A place in which you can disappear, a hiding place

Tw for basically every tw before now + disordered eating. Really if you get triggered by any of the common triggers you shouldn't be reading this

Marcy slowly sat up, rubbing their eyes. As they gradually woke up mentally they noticed Anne and Sasha giggling about something over in the kitchen. Anne was cooking something. When Sasha realized Marcy was awake, she squealed and ran over to her.

"Mar-Mar! Can I tell them Anne? Can I tell them?"

Anne smiled and nodded, also walking over to Marcy.

"Last night while you were asleep, me and Anne woke up and..."

Anne grabbed her hands and kissed her cheek.

"Me and Sasha are together now!"

What?

Marcy smiled and laughed, too tired to fully comprehend what was said. They just knew they hated it.

"Congrats guys!"

Marcy said weakly. Sasha and Anne were giggling and eachother, mostly just in their own world now.

"Oh, Mar-Mar! I made breakfast!"

Anne let go of Sasha and ran to the kitchen, returning with a plate of French toast and bacon. Marcy's stomach growled at the sight of it.

"Thanks Anne."

Marcy smiled, taking the plate. Knowing they couldn't eat it. The core had been tormenting them, albeit very quietly all morning. The core did not deserve to eat.

You're only hurting yourself Mar-Mar~ All of this extra effort to hurt us is only draining yourself. You're in the worst state you've ever been in Marcy~ hoodies in the summer~ sleep deprived, starving~ why you're gonna end up killing yourself if you keep this up! Oh but I'm sure you wouldn't mind that. You really are a ticking time bomb at this point, Marcy~

I can't do this right now

Marcy set the plate of breakfast down on the coffee table.

"I'm gonna go take a shower and get dressed."

Marcy said robotically before walking to the bathroom. They couldn't figure out why they were so upset with Sasha and Anne being together. They just HATED it.

As they closed and locked the bathroom door, they collapsed.

I can't wait until they leave. I need it now. It needs to suffer now

Shaking, they reached towards the drawer and pulled out their razor, then went to turn the shower on, not wanting a repeat of yesterday. They walked into the shower then sat down, immediately beginning to shred their skin, white then red lines forming on their damaged arms, leaving behind a bloody promise of a scar.

Why bother pretending to shower Marcy? They don't care. They wouldn't notice. They never noticed you. They're just using you. You're hurting them. You damaged them. You deserve this. You deserve to suffer Marcy. It's ok though. I care about you Marcy. Give up your body to us and we will make it ok. I, we, will fix you Marcy.

I'd rather kill us first.

Water mixed with blood swirled down the drain as Marcy bit their lip, trying to refrain from making sound. After a while they finally stopped and began washing their hair and rinsing their new wounds. They stared up at the shower head for a moment, just enjoying the time away from their problems.