Spelivia ONE SHOTS

Therapy: Part 2

It was a slow morning as Olivia sat in front of the TV with her breakfast. Her next therapy session wasn't for a few hours after she had her classes and work so, she has taking her time this morning. It wasn't until she thought about work that turned her peaceful morning into an anxious nightmare.

As soon as "LA Tribune popped into her head, her mind went directly to everything that happened with Wade and everything that could possibly happen with all the backlash. She instantly thought about the swatting and the feeling of hers and everyone's lives in danger. The sight of seeing a gun in front of Spencer led her back to the cotillion shooting and him fighting to live. It wasn't long into her mind reminded her of her relapse and the car accident with Spencer, then the Tamika Pratt ordeal with her mom and the harassment from the cops. Her brain kept reminding her of event after event that it went as far back as the first overdose that sent her to rehab, all while her brain was playing these memories on a loop, Jordan's, and her own, words of "all you think about is yourself" "you ruin things for everyone" "you're a burden to everyone" "they just only tolerate you" and that was only what was going on internally.

In reality, physically, it was as if she couldn't breathe and the longer it went on, the shorter her breaths got. She could feeling everything closing in on her and she wasn't gonna make it out. She couldn't feel it, but many years feel from her eyes. It felt like she was having a heart attack and needless to say, she was terrified and she was close to calling the ambulance.

It must've went on for about 20-40 minutes before she finally regained control. She unknowingly had a panic attack and all she knew is that she never wanted that to happen again. Quite honestly, in this moment, she really wished for her mom and have her there with her.

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"We meet again, Miss Olivia" Mrs. Brown said as Olivia took a seat. "How has your day been so far, Olivia ?" Brown questioned.

"It was your typical day, you know ?" Olivia lied.

Knowing that she was lying because of her tone and body language, Mrs. Brown encouraged her to try again.

"Olivia, I can't properly do my job if there isn't complete honestly and transparency and you won't be able to get what you want and need from this, so let's ask that question again you respond truthfully, okay ?" Brown said supportingly.

Olivia took a nervous breath before answering. "Well since we're being honest, this morning kicked my ass," Olivia said with a slight chuckle.

"How so ?"

"Well, I was eating my breakfast and watching TV cause I could honestly never eat without having something watch to go with it and it was like any other morning. I was thinking about what I was going to do today like school and work and as soon as I even saw the words 'LA Tribune' in my mind, my mind and body went into survival mode. I felt like I had this weight on my chest and my den was closing up and I wasn't going to be able to escape. I count barely breathe and the longer it went on, the worser it felt and while that was going on, my own mind was against me. I kept having these awful thoughts that was piling on everything that has happened like with Wade, the relapse, my overdose, literally everything and also, thinking about what could still happen. Like, you know how on stranger things when El met her real mom and her mom took her into her mind and El described it as her dream circle as it was those same events playing over and over again ? It was like that. Along with Jordan's words that I've told you about previously and my own thoughts playing like a broken record," Olivia breathed out. As she was describing what happened that morning, she was afraid that it could happen all over again as she was talking about it to Mrs. Brown.

"It sounds like you had a panic attack attack, Olivia. Panic or anxiety attacks can and do happen when one is going through a lot of stress and anxiety, going through big life changes, other present mental illnesses and many other reasons. The scary thing about them is that they can come without warning, especially if there's a lot of suppressed feelings and emotions," Brown finished.