Broken By Love [COMPLETED]

Chapter 13

Sikha

"....and they lived happily ever after." Maa closed the book, finishing the story.

"Maa, does fairytale really come true? Will I also get my prince charming one day?" I asked Maa.

"Of course, Sikha. You will get a handsome prince charming one day. After all, my daughter is no less than a princess." Maa affectionately caressed my hair.

I smiled at Maa's answer, dreaming of a prince who would come riding a white horse and sweep me off my feet.

"Will my prince charming be like Cinderella's prince or like Sleeping Beauty's prince or--" I was saying, but Maa interrupted me.

"Your prince will be unlike any other, my princess. He will always love you and keep you happy. You will have your own happily ever after with him." Maa kept caressing my head, and I fell asleep quickly with a smile on my lips, dreaming of my prince charming.

"But I didn't get a prince charming. Instead, I got a monster."

I sob, lying on the bed, the nervousness deep inside me as I cannot shake the uneasiness about Dhruv letting me go without any punishment.

I did not finish cleaning yesterday, yet he did not punish me. I broke his vase today, yet he did not shout at me or beat me.

Why? Why?

The whys of his behavior are making me more anxious.

I know he is playing games with me. Maybe he is bored of abusing me physically and now wants to abuse me mentally.

And his strategy seems to be working. I am going crazy with nervousness, waiting for him to snap.

My stomach growls, and I clutch it, feeling hungry as I have not eaten anything since yesterday.

I am starting to feel light-headed again, and the headache is getting worse too.

"Shall I go to the kitchen and eat something? He was there a while ago but would have left by now." I contemplate what to do.

I do not want to face Dhruv. I do not want to see his face and recount all the humiliation, pain, and abuse he made me suffer.

'You will not be able to avoid him for long, Sikha. You are his prisoner, after all,' my mind reasons, and I tear up.

I quickly wipe the tears, feeling angry at myself for crying all the time.

"Be strong, Sikha. Please be strong." I keep chanting these sentences but cannot bring myself to gather the strength.

Climbing down from the bed, I walk to where the dressing table is in the room and look at myself in the mirror.

Before the fateful wedding night with Dhruv, I used to see a confident woman, strong-willed to take anything thrown at her whenever I looked in the mirror.

But now, all I see is the broken shell of that woman. Beaten up, both physically and mentally. No emotions left except for the fear of the person who broke her.

As I continue staring, my vision blurs, and my eyes widen as it gets refocused into the mirror again because this time, instead of a broken shell staring back at me, I can see a woman whose bruises are healing. The brokenness in her eyes evolving into an unbreakable strength.

"Fight back, Sikha. You cannot give up easily. You will have to fight him," the woman in the mirror encourages me, but I shake my head.

"I can't fight back. If I even try, he will hurt me in the worst possible way. He has promised to make my life hell," I whisper back, nervously looking at the room's closed door.

"But he has already hurt you in the worst possible way, Sikha. He has already broken you to this extent. He cannot do anything worse now. So, all that is left for you to do is give back worst to everyone who made you suffer. Especially Dhruv. He has hurt you, and now it is time for you to hurt him back in such a way that he will regret what he did to you all his life. Break him as he broke you, Sikha," she says, and I feel something stir within me.

I am still scared, still fearful of Dhruv. But I can also feel the realization glow within me.

Dhruv has done his worst to me. He raped me, broke me, demeaned me, beat me, did everything he could to me. And yet I am alive. I suffered everything, and yet I stand here, alive.

'ALIVE.' I keep repeating that one word in my mind until I feel a flutter of strength rise within me.

I know there is a long way to go until I emerge from the shadow of Dhruv's fear.

But this is a start. I don't feel helpless anymore. I don't feel my life does not have meaning anymore.

I am alive, and I want to live. I don't know if I will ever be happy again, but I want to be free. And for that to happen, I must first defy my fear.

Only then will I be truly free of Dhruv. Only then will I be able to finally escape his prison.

***********

Dhruv

Standing outside Sikha's room with a plate of food for her in my hand, I hesitate to knock on the door.

Her reaction to my proximity earlier had slashed my heart.

Every time I gather some courage to talk to her and apologize for all the pain I caused her due to my misunderstanding, her fearful face withers every mustered courage of mine.

When I saw her standing outside the kitchen earlier with fear etched on her face due to what I might do as she broke the vase, it made me feel as if someone was squeezing my heart mercilessly and poking it with thousand needles.

Her fear stemmed from what I did to her when she broke that mirror once.

"You need to understand your worthlessness among my expensive things. After this punishment, you will not dare break anything I own."

I clutch the edge of the plate harder as the feeling of loathing toward myself rises within me.

At that time, hearing her screams at each whip I delivered had somehow soothed my aching heart. But now, the memory of me whipping her made cracks in my heart, making me overwhelmed with guilt that even breathing felt like a struggle.

'Do you deserve her, Dhruv? Think about it. After what you did, you don't deserve even her forgiveness, let alone her love or companionship.' My conscience pricked me, but I vehemently shook my head.

"I can't lose her. Even if I don't deserve her, I won't allow her to leave me. I will keep begging for her forgiveness. I will keep pleading for her love. I will do it my whole life if need be. But I won't let her leave me, come what may."

Fueling my determination with my words, I fist my hand to knock on the door.

I need to start my redemption so Sikha can see how much I love her. I will show her that her happiness is my topmost priority now. I will shower her with so much affection that she will soon forget her pain.

For that to happen, I first need to come clean with her. I need to tell her that I know the truth about her being innocent and also let her know that I won't be hurting her in any way now.

Maybe then she will stop being scared of me. And with time, after she sees how much I love her, she may also begin to trust and love me, providing me one chance to give her the happily ever after she used to dream of.