The Emo Boy I Cried For

Thirty Five.

I got out my phone and checked Adrianna's GPS, like she did with me all those months ago. It wouldn't connect. What the fuck? Slowly, I realised what had happened. She'd blocked my phone. I couldn't find her.

I'd never see her again. Ever. Oh... Bab.

In desperation, I texted Sierra.

To: Sierra

Is Adrianna staying with you?

It didn't take long for a reply.

From:Sierra

No. What happened?

I texted her everything, all the details, including my crazy ex-girlfriend ruining my fucking life.

From: Sierra

Should I pretend I'm going to visit her and ask where she is?

To: Sierra

Oh my god please!!!!!

Within five minutes, Sierra texted back. Adrianna was at the White Horse Hotel in Hove. After thanking Sierra for her help, I sprinted blindly out of the door, leaping on my motorbike and driving to Hove as if my life depended on it.

When I got to the hotel, my feelings were good. Adrianna would take me back, right? Yeah, of course she would. She's just angry. She's the only person who's ever loved me.

"Which room is Adrianna Wilkinson staying in?" I asked the receptionist.

"Twelve. " he smiled, adding to my optimism. I ran up the stairs and down the hall. And then I saw it. Room twelve.

I knocked on the door. "Sierra?" I heard her voice call. Keeping silent, I stood by the door.

The door opened, and the first sight I saw was the look in her eyes. She was depressed, and I knew depression when I saw it. As soon as she saw me, Adrianna slammed the door, slamming my last glimmer of optimism with it.

"Bab?" I choked.

No answer.

"Bab please." I begged.

Still no answer. "Adrianna." My voice broke and I bit my lip trying not to cry. I'd never cried in front of someone before.

I leaned against the door and sat down. Before I knew what was going on, I was crying my eyes out. "It wasn't my fault." I said through tears.

"You really expect me to believe that?" I heard her mutter, but she sounded like she wanted to. My heart broke into a thousand pieces.

"Its true. That bitch Kelli put something in my coffee." I silently wished her to believe me.

I heard her sigh, and it sounded like she was crying too. "Just tell the truth, Felix..." She whispered.

"I am." I was dying inside.

"Look, Felix. I thought we had something amazing, and I loved you. You were my fucking life. I was at the hospital every moment I could be, and I stopped you committing suicide. But I obviously wasn't as important to you." She let it all out.

How could I tell her how much I cared? I cared about her more than anything else in the world.

"I do care." I sniffed.

"Well I don't any more." I heard her sob from behind the door and walk away.

I had just lost her.