The Emo Boy I Cried For

Twenty Six.

The car's wheels spun round as I went full speed through town. I had searched everywhere. Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Where the fuck was Felix? I thought we were passed this.

He could be blacked out drunk, alone, somewhere random, where anyone could do anything to him. Oh, Felix. Why?

Panic bit and tore my soul. "Felix, good fucking job... Where the fuck are you?" I whispered.

There's nowhere else he could be. Except dead. No. No way! He couldn't be, could he?

Oh, Felix.

He's so fucking stupid.

I wasn't going to stop looking until I found him. Frantically, I wracked my brains for anywhere Felix might have gone. Our special field! He might be there!

Without hesitation, I speeded towards the park, knowing he'd be there. I threw myself out of the car and ran up the path to our field.

No sign of him.

But when I saw the sunset, the cows and the views, I realised it was just like the first day we came here. One of the cows mooed and although it was weird, but it made me cry. I lay down in the grass and sobbed. I'd lost him.

But then, in the distance, I saw smoke rising from the cliff where Felix had attempted suicide. He must be there!

Blind with adrenaline, I ran as fast as I could down to the car again, and set off for the cliff.

As I got closer, I could see it was a bonfire. Had Felix set fire to himself? Was he drunk out of his mind and making a dangerous fire?

Clumsily, I parked the car and climbed out. Then, to my relief, there stood Felix. My relief turned to confusion as I noticed what he was doing. He threw a bottle into the fire.

"Felix!" I said desperately. "What are you doing?"

"Throwing away my past." he shrugged, throwing another bottle of Vodka into the flames. "I'm never going to drink again."

"You said that before." I frowned.

"I mean it now." he said, and he sounded truthful.

"I've waited forever for those words." I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Throwing the last bottle in the fire, Felix turned around and held his arms out for a hug. I ran into them.

"I thought you were dead." I said into his shoulder.

"Aww." he said softly. "I feel bad now."

"Don't." I pleaded.

"Okay." he pouted and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"I'm so tired." I giggled sleepily.

"Adorable little bab." he smiled. All of a sudden, it started to rain. "Great. I don't have to work out how to put out this fire." he laughed, taking his off his hoodie and putting it over me. He picked me up and carried me to the car.

"Let's go home." he said gently.