Hot and Humid (Laurmani)

Chapter 3

I enjoyed my summer having fun with my friends and without any contact with Lauren. I didn't think it would be that easy to get rid of her. Phew! My apartment complex didn't find a roommate for me until the last minute mainly because of my dog. A lot of people either didn't like dogs or didn't think their dogs would get along with others.

Two weeks before school was about to start, the complex sent me an email informing me I had a roommate moving in, but they didn't tell me who. On the date the person was scheduled to move in, I left the deadbolt lock unlocked so they could get in. I was sitting on the couch that afternoon when I heard the lock turn. The door swung open, and I saw a woman backing in struggling with her luggage. She was pale and had long, dark, wavy hair. I was convinced God hates me.

"Lauren? What are you doing here?"

She turned around to see me. "Normani! You're going to be my roommate? This is awesome! We're going to have so much fun."

"I thought you were staying in the dorms at Rice."

Lauren finally got her luggage through the door and responded nearly out of breath, "They said I was causing too many problems and advised me to find off-campus housing."

"What kind of problems?"

Lauren sighed, "I haven't done anything wrong. I was just surrounded by closed-minded people. I should have gone to an ultra-liberal college."

"Let me help you with your stuff," I offered.

"Thanks. I have a rented U-Haul truck downstairs."

We got all of her belongings moved in, and I discovered she had a dog. Our two dogs got along, which was a relief. We talked the rest of the evening catching up on what we did over the summer. I talked about going to concerts and on trips with my friends, and she told me about her experience at a nudist camp. Yeah.

I woke up the next morning to the sounds of someone scuffling about. I opened up my bedroom door and walked out into the hallway. And, I could not believe my eyes. I saw this white flesh going back and forth. Tell me she's not butt-naked. Lord, please let her not be naked. Okay. She's naked. God help me. She has a nice booty, though.

"LAUREN!"

"WHAT?"

"YOU'RE NAKED!"

"There is no shame in the natural state of the human body."

"Girl, take your hipster behind in the bedroom and put some clothes on."

"No," she argued. "I feel free like this."

"I ain't fucking playing with you. What if I bring friends over?"

"Then call or text me ahead of time so I can get dressed."

"No, no, no!" I yelled. "You're going to wear clothes outside of your bedroom like a civilized human being."

"Normani, you need to chill." She went into her bedroom and came out with something in her hand. "Here. Share a joint with me."

"You did NOT bring drugs into my apartment."

"This is not just YOUR apartment," she shouted. "This is OUR apartment."

"It doesn't matter whose apartment it is. Marijuana is illegal. I'm not going to jail because of you." I needed to take action. I stormed into her bedroom and saw her stash of grass on top of her dresser. I grabbed it intending to flush it down the toilet. That's when Lauren flung her naked body on me.

I yelled in disgust, "Gross! Get off of me."

"Put my stuff back down. This shit cost money."

"I don't give a fuck," I argued. "This is going in the toilet." I threw Lauren off of me, and she landed on her bed. I ran into her bathroom and dumped the weed in the toilet before she could get to me. She walked in and gave me a look of shock. I smiled as I flushed the toilet.

"That's not cool, man." Lauren went to sulk on her bed.

"If I ever see drugs in this apartment again, I will report you to the police myself. You are not ruining my future."

Lauren whined, "You're just like everyone else."

"Yes, I'm sane. You should try it sometime."

For the next week, we didn't talk much. She even wore clothes. I almost felt bad because she had this look like I had broken her spirit, but then I ultimately didn't care. As long as I didn't have to look at her walk around naked and she didn't have drugs in the apartment, I was happy. The only problem I had now was with her dog. I have a female dog that is spayed. She has a male dog that isn't neutered. Her dog has been harassing mine humping on her all the time.

"Lauren, you need to get your dog neutered. He keeps humping my dog."

Lauren had a look of horror on her face. "I am not chopping off my dog's balls. That's animal abuse."

"No," I disagreed. "It's called being a responsible owner."

"Being a responsible owner means making sure your dog doesn't escape to mate with other dogs. Lazy owners spay and neuter their pets. Besides, I don't have to worry about my dog impregnating yours because you let some vet scoop out her reproductive organs. Poor baby. She has such a cruel and uneducated owner." Lauren made a sad face and kneeled down to pet my dog.

"I need to go outside and get some fresh air," I announced.

"Cool. Let's go hang out at the pool."

"No," I exclaimed. "I need to go somewhere by myself to be away from you before I punch you."

I leashed my dog, grabbed my keys, and went for a walk.