My Parents House Series

I Had To Get My Girlfriend Back From The Demon In The Basement.

"What the hell are you talking about Bill?" my father asked confused, standing in the doorway of the sunroom, smoking a cigarette.

"Dad! Dad! I know it sounds crazy! But there really was a demon in the basement, and it kidnapped Melinda!" I said, totally freaking out, pacing back and forth, and chain smoking.

"You don't know that for sure Son!" my mom said dismissively, sitting on the couch, "Maybe she just went to the store."

I put out my cigarette, lit another one, and responded, "Mom! There are three claw marks in her pillow, just like the ones from the basement, our bedroom is destroyed, and Melinda is gone. Besides, I had the car, and the nearest store is three miles away! Melinda likes to keep in shape, but she's not going to walk three miles and back just for a veggie burger! I gotta find her!"

"If what you say is true, then how do you suppose you do that Bill?" my father asked.

"Oh! It's true! It's damn true!" I said, well, I didn't really say that.

That's my Kurt Angle impersonation, from back in the day.

You know who Kurt Angle is, Right?

Olympic Gold Medalist! Current WWE Superstar!

Anyway, Sorry about that!

Now, I didn't actually say "damn" to my father.

You see, even though I'm grown, I still don't curse in front of my parents.

It's a respect thing, plus my father would whip my ass.

Now, I know what you're thinking, "Damn is not a curse word!"

Well, according to my parents it is.

Anyway, "Believe me Dad, it's true, and I'm not really sure how I'm going to find her. But I'm going to find a way!" I actually replied.

My mom then sat up quickly and said, "If Melinda has her phone, you could do that thing that you did when I left my phone at the grocery store. You told me where it was!"

"You're right!" I said excitedly, "Find my Phone! Yeah! Let me try that!"

I pulled my phone out of my pocket, it was at 3%.

Anyone with an iPhone knows that using the flashlight, for long periods of time, will drain the hell out of your battery.

Anyway, I opened the phone, hit the "Find My Phone" app, selected "Melinda's Phone", and the little icon started spinning.

After a few seconds, the app showed me where it was, and you're not going to believe it.
It was in the same place we were, at our house.

I put my cigarette out hastily, put my phone in my pocket, and ran upstairs, following the "pinging" sound into our bedroom.

It was coming from under the bed.

I looked, and there it was.

"Well, so much for that idea!" I thought, reaching under the bed, grabbing the phone, and turning off that annoying "pinging" sound.

Now, before you say that I'm lying, which I know you will.

Let me tell you something first.

Now, I have no idea, on God's green earth, how what happened next, actually happened, but it did.

As I was standing there, holding Melinda's phone in my left hand, my phone, which was in my pocket, started to play "Just You And I".

You know, my ringtone for when Melinda calls me, remember?