Making Me Laugh (Damon Fizzy Story)

Chapter 39, Crying During The Worst Moment

"Hey guys." I waved at my laptop's camera.

"So I guess I have some explaining to do." I half smiled as I read the comments that were exploding on my YouNow.

"I just want you guys to listen before you start judging me, okay? When Damon and I broke up, you guys honestly have no idea how devasted I was. He was suppose to be the one I was looking for. He was perfect for me and he was the one I wanted to be with. Like, if he were to have asked me to marry him, I would have said yes."

"Now put this into perspective. To have the one you wanted to marry tell you that you're a cheater when you didn't cheat at all, how would you feel?" I looked up at the ceiling to keep the tears from falling.

"Pick up the phone, answer your text!" My phone screamed next to me.

"I'm sorry guys, let me check who's calling me." Confused, I picked up my phone and looked at the number; Damon Fizzy (My baby❤) is what the phone said.

"Hello?" I said as I answered the phone. How dare he call me during a live show! I know I did the same thing but it was a quick brief call.

"Samm, can we talk?" Damon asked. He sounded tired and sad.

"No." Was my simple answer. He had gone a month, A MONTH, not talking to me and suddenly when I was telling everyone what happened, he wanted to talk? Fuck that shit.

"Please. I really need to talk to you."

"No, I'm doing a live show." I held the phone and pressed the butt (bottom) of it against my chin.

"They can listen, I don't care. Just please, I need you to listen to me."

"Do you all want to hear me talk to Damon?" I asked annoyed. There was a ton of 'YES!' So, I did what they wanted. "Go ahead."

I couldn't really act like an asshole with everyone watching. My anger was to be controlled or else people would be mad at me for exploding. I didn't want to hear what Damon said but I had to do it. For the fans, not for myself. I honestly could care less what Damon had to say at this point.

"Samm, I'm so sorry for everything I told you." Putting my phone my phone on speaker, I placed it on top of my laptop. I focused my eyes to look at a poster of Sleeping With Sirens that I had. It was signed and looking at it just made me so happy. Reality snapped back on me when I heard Damon still talking.

"I never wanted to hurt you to the point where you cut because of me. I didn't think it would affect you to that point." My face immediately fell. Thanks for announcing that to e world babe. Smooth. People hate me as it is, now make it sound like I'm such little bitch who couldn't handle things? Fucking great..

"You basically said I was a cheater who couldn't be trusted. Obviously, that's going to have a toll on me. You know how sh-" I stopped suddenly. I wasn't going to swear in front of everyone. There could be important people watching and swearing would be bad. "How hard life was for me." I said angrily. Keeping my cool was beginning to become hard but I didn't want my fans to see me get pissed.

"I know. I was just super angry because I know you Samm. I know who you are and to think you cheated wasn't something I would have thought of in a million years."

"If you knew me, then why did you do that to me? Why couldn't you call me back and tell me you were sorry? Why, after a month of crying and hurt, are you finally calling me? Why couldn't you have done this before? At a time when i wasn't hosting a live show?" I asked him.

"I was too scared to talk to you. I felt like you could never forgive me for what I said and I still don't forgive myself." He didn't answer my second question. He actually avoided it completely.

"Damon, you don't understand the amount of pure pain I went through. I'm sure you already saw the video Morgan took of me. You honestly have no idea how badly you affected me. I just don't know if I can just up and forgive you."

"What can I do for you to forgive me?" A tear rolled down my voice at how defeated Damon's voice sounded.

"You hurt me so badly." I whispered and more tears rolled down my face. There was no stopping them. I tried wiping them away but when one disappeared, ten more came.

"I'm so sorry." That's when I lost it. Sobs were coming out of my mouth and tears ran down my face as I just cried my whole insides out.

"I'm s-s-sorry guys. You shouldn't have seen that." I said to everyone when I could finally speak.

"Samm, do you want to talk another time?" Damon asked.

"No. I don't want to talk to you anymore Damon. I'm so done." Immediately I hung up and wiped my face dry. "You know guys, I think we can do this another time. I'm so sorry you had to see that. Until next time."

I bit my lip as I waved and signed off YouNow.

I needed to get myself together.

--

Tomorrow is the last chapter :c

Thank you all for sticking to this story

"I'm not one of those crazy girls...Hey baby are we over now? Maybe I can change your mind? As soon as you walk out my door, I'm gonna call a hundred times. Now I'm one of those crazy girls." Omg guise this Paramore album speaks to me. It's so good and ah *.*

I'm excited because today I might be taking little fifth graders around, giving them a tour of our school c: That's pretty cool, cause I wanna find my old fifth grade teacher to show her how much I've changed and I really have. I use to be short (shorter then I am now), sandy blonde hair, a round chubby face, fat and I wore men clothes. Now, I'm still short, have light auburn hurr, a slimmer face, still fat xD, and I only wear men band shirts cause they're more comfortable.

Wow I'm gonna miss telling everyone my business :c

Ugh.

Until tomorrow,

Samm