lies upon lies

chapter 1

~iris~

"We are going out, stay put in your room", my father spoke once again, poking his head through my broken door. To be honest I don't even know how that door is still holding up, considering all the punches and slams it has taken.

"Yes sir" I answered from my bed, not even maintaining eye contact with him because of how intimidated I was of him. Even though this happens every other day I still cannot look him in the eyes, and its not even because he wont allow me, its because my heart wont allow it or I'll cry more tears when I cry myself to sleep yet again. He leaves after my reply and shuts the door on his way out.

 I stay on my bed waiting for them to leave, like I have been doing every night. After five minutes I hear the car leave the driveway, and go downstairs to grab some snacks. I don't eat much, I never have eaten full meals properly everyday. I know I should, but I don't, and again its not because my parents don't let me, its because I don't let myself. I only eat light meals or snacks because of people's comments, and I know they should not affect me, but they do. 

My parents don't really make me proper meals or care about me in any way. its like I'm living by myself, and yeah we live under the same roof and everyone thinks we are one big Frankenstein family, but we aren't and I'm surviving through life by myself. I come back upstairs with some salt and vinegar crisps and an apple. What a combo!

 I don't really do much when my parents are gone, I just lay in my bed and listen to music, mostly The Weeknd,  and that's what I do the whole night, music, music, and more music. Music is underrated -and free- therapy, just blasting it in my eardrums makes me gain adrenaline and instantly feel better, forgetting about the horrible never- ending hell I am in. 

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