"I'm sorry.. " he said without looking at her.
Her forehead creased for she didn't immediately get as to why he was apologizing out of the blue. He just came from his out of town trip and that's what he would say after almost two months of not seeing each other?
"I'm sorry, Dana," he repeated.
Frowning, she asked quizzically, "Why? What did you do?"
Jeff looked at her blankly and sighed when he saw her shocked and questioning eyes. Then, he ran his fingers through his hair and took a deep breath before looking away again.
"Let's.. break up,” he replied.
He knew the moment he decided to end their relationship would be hard, but never did he imagine it to be that hard, especially when Dana started crying.
He promised before they entered the complicated relationship, that he won't make her shed a single tear, but what he was doing right now? Bitting the bottom of his lips, he restraint himself to look at her face, for it feels like he was stabbed on his chest by a knife too many times seeing her cry. And its all because of him.
"I'm sorry, but we have to--"
"You're just kidding, right?" Dana cut him off while trying to smile off the stung in her chest. "This is just one of your lame jokes, right, Jeff?" she asked almost begging with her shaking voice.
His heart shattered into tiny pieces at the scene in front of him. He bit his bottom lips harder as he slowly shook his head as an answer. He couldn't afford to even give her a second glance for her sobs became audible and it pained him more to hear it.
"You're not a good joker, Jeff. Stop it," Sandara chuckled then stepped foreward to Jeff and held his hands with tears streaming down her face nonstop. "Please, stop joking around. It's not funny," she pleaded.
Jeff took a deep breath and shook his head once again, this time, profusely. He was praying that Dana won't insist anymore and just accept the break up. He knew damn well that it's hard for her, because they've been together for five years. They've invested too much with each other, but too much of everything is bad. She must realize that everything has its ending, that nothing lasts forever. And their relationship is no exception that theirs already reached the dead end.
"I'm ending this, Dana. I don't want to hurt you more so, please.. let me go.."
But instead of letting his hands go, Dara tightened her grip on him with tears streaked and pleading eyes. "Why? What did I do? Tell me, we can still fix it!"
"You did nothing. It's not your fault. I just want out.."
"No,” she immediately replied. Shaking her head vigorously she continued, “You're lying. I know there's a reason why'd you suddenly want to end this. Tell me, Jeff. What did I do that made you upset?"
"Nothing"
"Tell me!"
"I said nothing! Can't you fvcking understand it?! I'm fed up of our relationship! I'm tired of us! I'm not happy anymore! I want out, Dara. I'm tired of everything about us! Don't make this hard for me for fvck sake!" he shouted then shut his eyes tightly as he catched his breath.
He didn't mean to shout on her. He wanted to talk to her without fighting. But he guessed she won't get him off that easily and will still try everything to fix whatever that's already broken. He was mentally cursing when he felt her grip slowly loosen up until she's not holding him any longer. He slowly opened his eyes and looked at his hands and caught her shoes stepping backwards.
Couldn't stand watching the girl he had loved for a long time slowly walking away from him, he turned his back on her, until he finally heard the door closes. And so her heart.
