They say ‘regret’ will always come at you when things are already too late.
Whoever said it, they were damn right.
Fuck it. They're fucking right. Because there he was looking at the woman he had loved for so long, smiling with another man.
It should be him, if only he didn't leave her.
It should be him, if only he didn't hurt her.
The weight of their post break up are now hitting him like a lightning that breaks him apart. He thought he was okay with it when he only felt freedom after leaving her. But what it is he's feeling right now upon seeing her in flesh once again, already moved on and happy?
He shut his eyes as he felt like something was crushing inside him. Never did he thought the aftermath of his action aside from being free. All of a sudden, he questioned himself of what was he thinking that night he broke up with her.
He was blinded by envy.
He was so envious of people who can have a public display of affection without restraint and fear of being caught. He envied how carefree other people showing off their significant others while there they were, hiding like a damn criminal who were not allow to be seen together. It was so fucking tiring and he gave up.
Without wasting any second, he left the CEO's office the moment his boss dismissed him. He wanted to leave the building immediately and rest. But unfortunately, fate wasn't in him and let him stumbled with his members.
“Jeff! You're back!” Sevy screamed while running to him.
“You didn't reply to my message. I told you to wait for us in studio B. Where are you going?” Yuno frowned.
“Home. I still have jetlag”
“Okay. But let's eat lunch first before we let you go. You know we miss you, Jeff!” Damian probe.
He looked at each of his members and shook his head upon seeing their expectant look, “Fine”
All of them decided to eat at GY Republique. And as soon as they stepped inside the restaurant, he stood frozen when the first person he saw was none other than his ex-girlfriend, Dana Park.
It been almost two months since the last time he saw her in flesh. And it was in the studio when they recorded the song he wrote for them that was included in their new album, and after the survival show they both participated as judges. He remembered how awkward it was, because compared to those days, the girls gave him nothing but cold shoulders as they recorded the song.
“Wazzup we're 21!” Samuel shouted that caught the girls attention.
They were all beaming until their eyes fell on him and quickly turned to frown then averted their gazes as if he was a stranger.
He was a fucking liar if he says he wasn't hurt with their reactions. Of course he was, for he treats all those girls like his sisters, except ofcourse with Dana. He just didn't give much attention about it the last time, because he understood what they're coming from. Even his members were mad at him back then and got some punches from Yesuah and Samuel while telling him how jerk he was.
“Why the hell are you here?” Bea asked with a narrow eyes directed at Samuel.
“Bea, you don't own this place. Everyone who wants to eat can come here anytime,” Samuel retaliated with a chuckle.
Bea rolled her eyes and her gazes diverted on him. Among the three girls, he knew she's the most protective of Dana. And her glares were enough to say how angry she was to him until now. if ever Dana forgives him, he was sure Bea won't do the same.
He forced himself to follow his members and silently sat next to Yesuah which was on the furthest side of the girl's table. Everyone then became silent as they could all feel the sudden tension he emitted just by making his presence known.
It's been quite a long time since they all gathered up together, and everyone could feel the big difference of how it used to be back then. The loudiness of the girls was out of nowhere, while the naughtiness of the boys toned down. And its because of him.
Regret was eating him up.
What have he done?
Now that he could see right before his eyes, he realized how much damaged he caused for being selfish.
“Why are we so serious? We should be celebrating now because 21 is number again!” Sevy hooted that broke the invisible barrier.
“What's new though? Whatever 21 releases, it always become number one,” Yesuah seconded.
“Why 21's taking the credit? It should be Teddy-hyung,” Samuel chuckled.
“Yah! I also participated on the songs!” Charlie retorted, “And we are the one who picked the songs and title tracks. And its our idea for the concept and such! We're not puppets who just goes what our bosses says!”
“Chill, Charlie. Samuel's just kidding,” Damian laughed.
The atmosphere became light then, but his heart didn't. He keeps on stoling glances to the woman who used to be always sitting by his side if not in front of him where he could easily reach her.
She dyed her hair black now from the blonde he last saw her. His stomach tingled as he stared at her with his favorite look of her. But one thing was missing. Her smile.
Her smile that used to show everytime they see each other.
Once again, he couldn't help but asked himself, what have he done?
