A Rose For A Rose

Chapter 8

All I'm going to say about this chapter is hold onto your butts.

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I forgot what it felt like, the slight burn in my throat and my lungs. I brought the paper back up to my lips and took a slow drag. This wasn't something I indulged in often, but today, I needed to.

I rested my elbows on my knees and held my head in my hands. If I could sleep through the day I would. But today was too busy. Too many things to do and too many people to see.

"I miss you, brother," I whispered in my hands, lifting my head enough to take another pull. I had a short window of time before someone found me out here, and I didn't want to be caught. Today I wished I was with my family, heading out to the lake in honour of Aslan. Instead, I was going to another masquerade tonight that I wanted to avoid.

"Miss?"

I sighed and blew the smoke out, tapping the paper to drop some ash and turned to look behind.

"Yes, Pipa?"

Pipa stood there and looked like she was contemplating something before stepping through the grass and sitting on the bench beside me. It must have looked comical for me to be sitting outside in the sun in a pair of trousers, but right now I didn't care.

"Do you need anything?"

I brought the paper back to my lips and pulled again. I wasn't sure what I wanted. Lissa understood to an extent, but I didn't want to bother her with this. She struggled through the loss of her parents.

"Can you just...sit here with me? Just for a little bit?" I whispered. Pippa nodded and folded her hands primly in her lap, not a single hair out of place from her bonnet. I closed my eyes and let myself mourn Aslan for a few moments. I let the feelings and emotions I held in for the year out and shed a few tears.

Pippa sat quietly and provided me with silent comfort, reaching out and taking my other hand. I smiled sadly at her, squeezing her hand back.

"I only met Master Mazur once," Pippa said, "But I see much of him in you. Both of you have the kindest souls. I'm sorry for your loss. It's his birthday, is it not?"

I nodded and took the last pull from the paper and stamped it out under my foot.

"He would have been twenty-five. And he would have been married to Lila for two years. Instead, both of them are in the ground," I said blowing out a puff of smoke.

"Lila?"

"His fiancée. She contracted the same illness and died a few days after him," I said as I stood up, brushing the back of my pants off. Pipa looked up at me with sad eyes.

"I did not know that."

"No. Her family made it sounds like an accident to prevent hysteria about a contagious disease. My mother was terrified that I was going to become ill too."

"I'm thankful that you didn't," Pipa said, "Not every maid has the pleasure of working with a lady as kind as you."

I smiled at her and ran my fingers through my hair, unravelling some of my curls as I did.

"Pipa? Would you be able to do my hair tonight down? That way I will be harder to be noticed?" I asked. I didn't want it down to look different, but simply to please Dimitri. Maybe we would be lucky and have a private moment alone and I could feel his fingers in my hair. I had noticed that he looked at my curls frequently at the tea party, and when we departed he had twisted a curl around his finger, rubbing the soft strand between his fingers before kissing my cheek.