Pit Boss: A Grillhunters Saga (A Hunter x Hunter Horror Story)

Let The Grilling Begin

It was a beautiful sunny Saturday morning at exactly 9:43 am. Four fierce, famished hunters with an appetite for battle had been traipsing through the dense rain forest for what seemed suspiciously like exactly three days. Their vision tunneled with hunger, and yet they surged forward, determined to accomplish the mission at hand.  

"Is anyone hungry for barbecue right now or is that just me?" Leorio, the most delectable hunter to ever hunt (also the tallest in the group), asked the group questioningly.

"Leorio. You stupid idiot," Kurapika stated factually and correctly. "Food is simply out of the question. We've been wandering this blasted forest for just about three days. You know what happens after three days without H2O? SEVERE DEHYDRATION, Leorio. Which leads to death, in case you were wondering. Which I know you were. Personally, I could really go for a tall glass of water right now. I'm simply parched," Kurapika spouted, suspiciously eyeing up the tall hunter to his right.

 Kurapika was met with silence from the rest of the group.

Man, Kurapika sure talks a lot, Killua thought to himself as the hunters trudged on into the dark abyss of the wilderness.

~

After what seemed like three more days but was really only thirty more minutes, Gon suddenly stopped in his tracks.

"I think I smell something tasty and munch up ahead!!" he exclaimed.

"What is it Gon??" Killua asked his bestest friend in the whole world, though he would never admit it aloud.

"I-I think it's barbecue!!! Leorio, it could be your lucky day! Let's follow the scent trail!" Gon took off towards the heavenly aroma.

"Baka..." Killua muttered under his breath. He's so good at smelling things. He shines so bright....

The remaining hunters raced after Gon, desperately hoping for full bellies in their futures.

~

Eventually, the four hunters approached a clearing. Standing directly in the middle was what could only be described as a humanoid girl with white cat ears and a tail. In front of her was the biggest, most voluptuous, most glorious grill the hunters had ever laid eyes on. The cute neko perched cutely on a tree stump, reaching over to flip the thickest, juiciest burger. Even juicier still was Leorio's pectoral muscles, glistening in the mid-morning sun, marinated in his own blood, sweat, and tears.

(A/N: KURAPIKA QUIT HIJACKING MY STORY DESU NYAAAA >_<)

"We're saved!!!" Leorio squealed with excitement.

I'm still sooooooooo thirsty.........., Kurapika thought sussily.

Suddenly, Leorio ran across the clearing, desperately in need of that burger in his belly.

"LEORIO, NO!" Killua yelped, but it was too late.

Leorio had fallen right into the neko's trap, literally. The pit which was previously concealed by inconspicuous twigs and leaves now held Leorio deep inside.

"Are you going to go after your friend :3 ?" The neko challenged the remaining three hunters, her Kiss The Cook apron billowing in the breeze.

The hunters just stared at her as they jumped into the dark pit one after the other.

~

After ten minutes of falling, which seemed like another three days to our hunters, they plopped violently against the grimy padded floor. After surveying their surroundings, they came to the grim conclusion that it was surely encrusted with sweat and blood as well. Loud cheers erupted ahead as they slowly got to their feet.

"Are you guys seein' what I'm seein'?" Leorio squinted against the bright fluorescent spotlights.

"I'm not seeing much of anything, baka," Killua mumbled. Unless you're talking about Kurapika, he thought to himself. Kurapika had somehow landed beneath a shirtless Leorio during their fall and was still recovering, mentally and physically.

"No he's right! Look!" Gon pointed. Surrounding the hunters was a full audience, hungry for a showdown.

"We must be in a boxing ring. But who could our adversary possibly be?" Kurapika questioned.

As if almost on cue, on opposite sides of the ring, two panels rose from below the floor like elevators. The cheers grew substantially as the grills were revealed- one for the hunters, and one for none other than sweet, sweet Neko-chan, who has held the Pit Boss-Grill Master title for nearly a decade.

"Let the grilling begin!" Neko-chan evilly purred.