In Another Life {A Buddie Fic}

Acceptance.

Evan sat on the porch swing in Eddie's front yard. He was staring onto the beautiful horizon in front of him. It really was a scene to unpack. The city was always beautiful at this time of day. The sun setting over the highway with the buildings in rear view.

"Buck, you alive over there?"

He turned his head, looking at Eddie, his best friend for what had been years now. It had taken him time to accept it, but he had caught feelings for the man. He also knew, that Eddie had never seen him the same way.

"I'm fine. Is Chris in bed?"

"Yea. He's already fast asleep."

Buck laughed. "Sounds like him." He sighed with a smile, "as addicting as the view of the city is from here, I've got to go home. I'm tired and we've got a shift." He stood up, stretching his back.

"Yea, you're right. But why are you off so soon? You usually stay longer than this."

"I figure we both need rest. So, its better I go home." He gave a playful laugh and then grabbed his keys, stepping off the porch and making his way to his car.

***

It was a matter of minutes before Buck found himself at his house, sprawled out in his bed. It had became a daily occurence now.

He'd think about Eddie, only to realize they'd never see eye to eye and then it would hurt him to think about. He would always do whatever it took to keep Eddie close, even if it meant he would suffer. And he'd accepted that quite some time ago.

Even if Eddie did think about Buck the same way, he had Ana. And Buck knew he wouldn't trade her love for anything.
She was surely meant for Eddie, and both him and Ana knew it.

Buck had trouble finding love, because anytime he thought about it, his mind tracked its way to Eddie. Because he loved Eddie. But that was something he'd learned to live with.

Though, he always wondered if things would've been different should he have told Eddie how he felt when they started to get close. But, he hadn't and that was that. No point in dwelling on the past, right?

That was the way he saw it. And he had a nice relationship with Eddie. He really was an amazing friend so he figured, why fuck it up with something that will probably pass over anyway.

He never really loved someone forever, despite what he had told many women, despite the things he'd told himself, none of his feelings for people ever really stuck around.

He'd accepted his reality. And it was a harsh one, but he managed to live with it. He walked in Ana's shadow every day of his life, watching as she did the things he would never be able to do. And hoping, that one day he would be able to do those things too.

But, he'd always hated the word hope. It was pointless to hope for something that would never happen.