In Another Life {A Buddie Fic}

Depression.

They returned from the zoo and Buck decided he would stay at Eddie's house for a little while and chat with him.

Buck sat on the steps of the porch, watching the sun set over the horizon.

Eddie came outside with two beers and sat next to him. "Here." He handed one to Buck.

Buck took it with a smile, "thanks." He opened it and took a drink.

Eddie looked at the view of the city with a sigh, "it sure is beautiful isn't it?"

"Yea, it really is."

"Its a shame that such a beautiful city can have such awful people housed within it."

"But, not everyone here is awful. I mean, we found each other right?" Buck said with a playful wink.

"Thats true," Eddie laughed.

"I do understand what you mean though. Some people are just- they're awful. To put it quite plainly. And they'll stab you in the back and then hand you the knife."

"If that isn't the truth I don't know what is." Eddie took a drink of his beer.

The two talked about their jobs, their family, their friends and they talked for quite some time. Then they got to the topic of relationships.

"It just- it feels like every woman I date, she's over me within a couple weeks." Eddie sighed, "and Ana isn't the first to do it. She just managed to hurt me the most."

"I think the only thing to do is try to move on, right? You can't dwell on her forever. There's someone else out there that will always love you. You just haven't found them yet."

"Yea, but god does it hurt right now. I just want someone to hold close, and someone to love me as much as I love them. That's all I want. It can't be too much to ask for."

Buck bit his lip, "Eddie... have you ever thought about us?"

"What do you mean, Evan?"

"I mean, us. What if we got together, became much more than friends."

Eddie smiled at Buck. Buck wasn't sure why he'd said it, but it had felt good to finally put it out there.

"Maybe in another life we could've been something, but not this one.

The words stabbed at his heart, tearing it open and leaving it to bleed. They echoed inside his head until he couldn't hear anything else.

Tears streamed down his face as he drove home. He got home and sat on his couch, burying his head in his knees and sobbing until his jeans were soaked.

He grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil, writing a note to Eddie, apolgizing for what he was doing.

It was 10:47 pm on Saturday August 17th when Evan Buckley took his own life.