𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 [jonggi]

twenty one

Everything was fine.

Yes, everything was fine.

Nothing had happened for many years. We had entered adulthood serenely. We were going through college. Then the wind blew away our straw happiness and it was all gone, overnight, a minute, a few seconds.

- Everything will be fine Woo.

His hand wandered into my hair.

I had heard this sentence many times. San was trying to reassure me as best he could. I appreciated the gesture, he was cute, he had always been cute. But for a long time I had lost hope. I knew that it was all a matter of time.

I still remember when I used to visit him every night. When I came with new games to entertain him, new ideas, new jokes and new topics. Sometimes I told him about my boring days. But not all the time, because the outside world was not always beautiful.
One evening in January I was about to turn into the hallway of his room when the voices of the adults stopped me in my tracks.

- At this rate he won't last long.

- Even if we find a treatment there is little chance that it will work. His pneumonia unfortunately had time to take over during the first years of his life.

I will always remember that lunch that ended up in the toilet the next minute. My stomach was twisted, my heart was aching, and his mother's sobs were making my eardrums hiss. I was eleven years old.

It was anarchy.

And in the two hours I had been with him I hadn't had the strength to make him laugh. I had simply said that I was sick and that I wasn't feeling very well.

He nodded with an understanding smile.

He didn't know anything about it, like everyone else, because I wasn't supposed to be there, behind a wall in the hallway listening to the adults convo. I should have plugged my ears and sung that ridiculous song Jongho was humming on a loop. I would have preferred ignorance to the knowledge that no longer gave me a taste for life.

Fortunately San had been there, on the same path as Mingi, by chance.

They had blindfolded us beautifully. They had shown us the shades of the rainbow and its derivatives, without nuances. Without light or darkness.
It was simply warm and colorful.

But we had opened our eyelids and the blindfold had fallen off.

From now on, it was a world full of dreary shades, even the brightest one gave me a twinge of pain.

- I love you," whispered the dark-haired man in the hollow of my ear as he continued to stroke my hair.

- Me too," I sighed into his neck.

His hand tightened on mine.

If you had told me that the person I would have spent the evening of December twenty-five with would be Mingi, I would never have believed you.

And if you had told me that the man I had fallen for would have met me in his pajamas with a stuffed shiba at midnight in a Seoul hospital waiting room, I wouldn't have believed you either.

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Wooyoung is the one who breaks the most my heart
:(