Tortured Within (Kellic)

Chapter Five

Chapter Five-

After I pulled myself together, me and Jaime went back into the main lounge, where Tony, Mike, and Kellin were talking. At first they didn't notice us, but after a couple of minutes, they stopped their conversation to talk to us. We talked, well they, about the new Sleeping With Sirens album that was supposed to come out sometime in 2015, they talked about how things had been going. But when they got to talking about Kellin's personal life, it kind of hurt to listen.

"How's things with Kate?" Tony asked curiously, while Jaime and Mike sent me sympathetic looks, Tony secretly sending me an apologetic look. I hung my head, not letting myself look at Kellin.

"Things are good. After almost three years of dating, marriage is being mentioned a lot now." It felt like my heart was getting stuck in my throat. Kellin was thinking about marrying Katelynne? There was no way he felt anything towards me if he was tossing that idea around. He's not gay, he's in love with Katelynne for god sakes. He'll never like me.

"Marriage? Really?" Jaime asked, and I could just imagine him raising an eyebrow at him now. I hung my head lower, trying to block out the conversation in front of me. I couldn't listen to Kellin talking about how he may marry Katelynne. I wanted him to be with me, even though I was positive that would never happen, especially now. He was planning on marrying Katelynne.

"Yeah, I mean, they are probably right. It's probably about time I settled down with her. I mean, we have been together for a while now." Kellin said casually, and that only made me feel worse. This was hurting to listen, but it's not like I could just leave, we were on the road, I couldn't leave the bus. I had to stay and listen to this.

Mike cleared his throat, "Well, uh, I hope your happy." Tony, Jaime, and I understood the hidden meaning in Mike's words, I hope your happy your breaking my brothers' heart, Kellin, however, didn't understand, nor would he ever. I looked up slightly, seeing Kellin nod. I sighed, looking back down. I didn't want to be in here.

"What about you Vic? Got your eye on anyone?" Kellin asked, making me look up at him. For a spilt second I considered saying, "Yes, but he's getting married." Instead, I just shook my head. He raised an eyebrow, obviously not believing me, but thankfully he didn't call me on it, instead he turned back to the others, and started up a less touchy conversation.

I sat in the room, just listening to them talk about the tour, which places we were, where we were going to meet up with the rest of the Sleeping With Sirens guys, and a bunch of other trivial things. I sat there silently, just listening to them, occasionally commenting on something.

It felt like hours that I just listened to them talk, but I knew it wasn't even 2 hours. Eventually, while they were in the middle of some big conversation, I snuck off in the back lounge, just so I could get away from Kellin and clear my head. When I got in the back lounge, I took a deep breath, just trying to get myself together.

I had no idea why the guys thought it'd be a good idea for us to have Kellin on the bus with us. It hurt to be in the same room as him and not be able to tell him just how much I was in love with him. I couldn't do that, especially when I knew he was getting to Katelynne and didn't have those kind of feelings toward me. I knew that'd I'd have to ignore it most of the time while we were on this tour, but it was incredibly hard to ignore that. I sighed, sitting on the couch and gripping my hair. I needed to get over Kellin. I can't live my life head over heels with a married straight guy. I just couldn't do it. Being in love with him right now was only making me feel worse. If I was with Kellin, it'd be a different story. But how did I fall out of love with him?

I shook my head, moving my hands to my lap. I needed to relax. That's what I needed to do. I needed to calm myself down. I had to try not to think about how much I was in love with Kellin. I needed to think about how he was just my best friend nothing more. I needed to forget about how I was in love with him, that was the only thing that I could do to survive this tour. That was the only thing that would help me.

Taking another deep breath, I stood up off the couch. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't just hide in the back lounge for the whole tour. I just couldn't do it. I sighed, walking out of the back lounge and into main lounge where everybody else was. Tony looked over at me, offering small as I sat down on the couch next to Jaime, who smiled at me. I gave them both a small, almost pained smile back. I saw Kellin glance in my direction, but he didn't say anything about me disappearing.

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Sadly, a short chapter, but I wanted to get something up. Comment, vote, and like.