Tortured Within (Kellic)

Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven-

After another break down in front of one of my friends, I laid in the back lounge by myself, Sarah agreeing to go into the main area and tell everyone that I needed some rest. Which she wasn't completely lying, I did need rest, but I don't think I'd get it. I hardly ever got any rest now. I sighed, sitting up on the couch, putting my head in my hands, a million thoughts surrounding my head.

There was only one word that I felt right now. I was hopelessly lost. The only thoughts that I could think of was how hopeless everything was. I was never going to be with Kellin, he was always going to be with Katelynne, he was going to marry Katelynne, I was gonna be sad for the rest of my life.

I was always going to feel like this, no matter what I did with my life, I was always going to be morning over the fact that I could never have Kellin, that I probably could have done something to make him be with me. But now, he was already thinking about marrying her and I was going to end up alone by myself.

There was nothing I could do now, but watch as he got everything he wants, while I sit in silence, trying not to cry.

Kellin's POV

I sighed, as Sarah stared me down, "I mean it Kell. Vic really needs his rest so just let him be." She said, taking her seat next to Justin. I nodded, sitting back down on the floor, on my spot next to Jaime and Mike, who were talking with Nick.

I couldn't help but wonder if that was Vic was really doing, sleeping. He seemed tired early but the kind of tired that sleep could fix.

It was the tired that I saw in some fans eyes, when they were just about done with everything. It hurt to see it in their eyes, but to see it in Vic's eyes? It was like stabbing my repeatedly.

I knew Vic, hell, he was my best friend and the guy I had a crush on. It hurt to see him so sad, and what hurt even more was seeing him try and cover up all the sadness with false smiles and facades. It hurt so much to see him like that. I wanted, no, I needed to talk to him about it.

I had to know what was going on with him, especially since I needed to help him. I wanted to fix what was going on with him, but to do that, I had to know what was going on with him.

But Sarah was stuck on me staying in here and letting him sleep, which I was sure he wasn't even doing. I had no idea what he was doing, but I knew it wasn't sleeping. I needed to talk to him.

Vic's POV

Maybe being by myself wasn't the smartest idea right now. Maybe I should have let Sarah be in here with me, or at least hung out in the other room because to be honest? I was scared I was going to do something to myself. I hadn't done anything to myself since I was so much younger and I stopped for Mikey, but recently, it wasn't getting harder and harder not to.

I sighed, running a hand through my hair as I laid on the couch in the back lounge. I needed to do something to distract myself, but I couldn't go back in the other room because everyone thought I was sleeping. They'd wonder why I wasn't sleeping if I went in there. Which meant I was stuck in here by myself and with my thoughts.

I had to get myself together, and fast. I needed to act better, even around those who knew. I didn't want them to be worried about me, they shouldn't have to be worried about me. They needed to stay focused on their own lives and their own problems.

I rolled over on the couch, facing away from the door. I needed to get myself together. I had no idea how I was going to make it through this tour without breaking down crying all the time. I had to get myself together for Kellin. He would start to wonder why I didn't hang out with him as much. He'd think I was mad at him and then he'd be mad at me and I couldn't handle that.

I was nearly crying from all these thoughts when I heard a door open. I quickly sat up, turning to face the door. And sure enough, Kellin was standing there, wide eyed and surprised.

"W-What are you doing in here? Didn't Sarah tell you I was trying to sleep?" I asked him, standing up and trying to completely discard the fact that I looked like I was about to cry.

Kellin nodded, slowly. "Yeah, but Vic come on. I'm your best friend, I know when somethings wrong. I know that you aren't happy. I just don't know why." He said, walking further into the room. I looked him in the eye, and saw how much he cared. I saw that he truly 100% worried and concerned for me.

I sighed, sitting down on the couch that I had spent so much time on, and closing my eyes, resting my head on my hands. Maybe I could just tell him that I'm depressed, and leave out my feelings for him? It wouldn't make things between us awkward or anything, but it would be embarrassing for me to tell him.

I sighed, thoughts running through my mind, I should tell him right? He deserves to know. After all, he is my best friend. I'll leave out the stuff about him, but I need to tell him about the "depression". He should know about that.

--

I am extremely sad and lost in memories rn and I don't what to do.