My First Crush

My Best Friend's Brother

The year was 1982 and I was 16 years old. My family and I had moved to California 3 years ago because my father got a job offer there that would make us a lot of money. I really didn't wanna leave New York but I didn't have a choice. We moved to a quiet, upper class neighborhood with lots of big houses. My father put me in private school, which I didn't like. I was used to public schools with no uniforms but, once again, I had no choice, I was only 13. I found it hard to make friends but one girl took a liking to me. Her name was Janet and her and I were the same age. I found out later that she was part of the famous Jackson family. We quickly became best friends and hung out together alot. I enjoyed going to her house because she had everything you could ask for. Her mother was very nice but I really didn't care for her father whom she called "Joseph". I found it strange that she called her father by his first name, but I never questioned it, I called him that as well.
Her brothers were really nice too. But one in particular caught my eye. Her older brother Michael. I had a huge crush on him from the first time I met him! He was lots of fun to be around and he was really cute. I could tell he really cared for his sister Janet.

During the 3 years I've been here in California, Janet and I have gotten really close. Her family was like my family. Most of my time was spent at Havenhurst, her family home. But the older I got, the harder I found it to be around her brother Michael. My feelings were getting stronger for him as I got older and became more aware of my sexuality. I never have shared with Janet the way I feel about her brother, I didn't want it to be awkward for her. At 16 years old, I had never had a boyfriend. I often used to daydream about what it would be like if Michael was my boyfriend but I knew he could never see me in that way. I was his little sister's age and he was 8 years older than me, I knew I had no chance with him but, it was nice to daydream.
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Janet and I came home from school together on a Friday. I asked my parents if I could spend the night at Janet's house and they said yes. We enter her house and flop down on the couch after a long day at school. Her brother Randy joins us in the living room.

"Hey Karen. You look nice today." Randy says to me sitting next to me on the couch.
"Oh, hey Randy. Thanks." I say feeling slightly uncomfortable.
Janet smiles at me and I blush.
"Are you gonna stay for dinner?" he asks me
"Yeah, I'm staying the night here with Janet." I tell him
"Oh yeah. Thats nice." He says smiling
Just then Michael walks into the living room. He has his shades on and a sweater and jeans. I feel my face start to flush in his presence.

"You think you're so cool don't you? Take them shades off in the house boy!" Janet yells at him laughing. I laugh too and so does Randy.
"Shut up Dunk!" He yells at her taking his shades off.
"Yeah leave the big superstar alone." Randy says sarcastically laughing.
"Whatever man." Michael replies back to him.
He sits down on the loveseat across from the couch.
I'm glad he took his shades off. His eyes are beautiful. I begin to get butterflies in my stomach.

"Hey Karen. How are you today?" he asks me
I can't even look him in the face. I can feel my face get hotter.
"I'm fine. And you?" I reply looking down at my lap.
"I'm good. Are you staying for dinner?" he asks me
"Yeah. I'm staying the night." I reply looking up at him
"Oh ok good. Well I'm starving. Mom! Is dinner ready yet?!" he yells into the kitchen. He gets up off the loveseat and walks away towards the kitchen.
I breathe out a sigh of relief. This is gonna be a long weekend.

During dinner, I sit next to Janet, and Randy sits across from me along with Michael. I really wanted to sit next to Michael so I wouldn't have to look him in the face and feel uncomfortable again. During dinner I couldn't help but to notice Randy staring at me. I would steal quick glances at Michael and quickly look away when he looked up from his plate. After dinner Janet and I go up to her room to hang out.

"You know...I think my brother likes you Karen." Janet tells me
I start to blush.
"Really? Which one?" I ask, knowing who she's gonna say. I wish she would say Michael.
"Randy." she says to me
"Oh really, how do you know?" I reply. But I really did notice him staring at me during dinner.
"Are you kidding? He couldn't keep his eyes off you during dinner." she says to me.
"Well, I didn't notice." I say back to her.
"Well, do you like him too?" she asks me
"No. I kinda like someone else." I tell her
"Oh really! Who?!" she asks me
"Ummm...someone at school." I tell her making something up.
"How come you haven't told me before? I'm your best friend!" she tells me
"I don't know. I'm kinda embarrassed." I tell her.
"Why? Don't be embarrassed. Its natural to have these feelings at our age." she tells me
"Now tell me who is it." she says to me grabbing my hand.
I quickly blurt out a name of a guy in our class.
"James." I tell her.
"You mean James in our math class?" she asks me smiling and giggling.
"Yeah, him." I tell her.
"Ohhh..girl..he is cute. Are you gonna tell him? Let me tell him!" she says
"No!! Please don't do that! I don't want him to know yet." I tell her.
"Promise me Janet!" I tell her cause I know she has a big mouth.
"Ok! Gosh! I won't say anything." she says to me.
"Lets watch some TV." she says to me grabbing the remote.
I breathe a sigh of relief and relax a little.

The rest of the evening is spent doing our nails, watching TV and girl talk.
I toss and turn in Janet's bed most of the night thinking about my crush Michael, whose bedroom is just down the hall. Plus, Janet snores something terrible. I decide to get up and go to the bathroom.
I make my way down the darkened hallway when the bathroom door suddenly opens. I find myself face to face with Michael still dripping wet from his shower, with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. He smiles when he sees me. My heart stops, or at least it feels like it has.

"Hey Karen, what are you doing up?" he asks using a smaller towel to dry his hair.
I can feel my face flush and I can't find the words to answer.
"You ok?" he asks me.
"Umm...yeah, I was just going to the bathroom." I stammer out.
"Oh. Well since you're up, do you wanna come to my room and play Atari like we used to when you were younger. We haven't done that in awhile. I feel like whippin you in Space Invaders." he tells me laughing

OMG! I don't know if I can handle going to his room after I just saw him looking so sexy dripping wet in a towel. Is he crazy? Does he know the effect he has on me? He obviously still sees me as his little sister. Ugh...

"Ummm...ok..sure. Sounds like fun." I manage to answer back.
"Ok. You go ahead to the bathroom and meet me back in my room in a few minutes." He says to me as he walks up the hall.
"Ok." I say

I go into the bathroom, close the door and lean against it. I slide down to the floor.
How am I gonna handle this? My face flushes when he talks to me. I can't handle being alone with him. He has no idea the major crush I have on him.
I use the bathroom and leave. I slowly walk down the hall to Michael's room. My heart starts to race in my chest. I feel like its going to come right out of my chest, its beating so hard. I reach his door and knock.

"Come in!" I hear him yell out from the other side.
I turn the handle and enter.
I used to love going to his room when i was younger. He has so many toys and gadgets, its like a toy store. Plus he always has a big bowl of candy sitting on his dresser next to his bed.
I enter the room to find him sitting on his bed with his pajamas on.

"You ready to take this whipping?" he asks me smiling handing me the Atari controller.
"Yeah whatever, you're going down." I say back to him.
I spot a big bowl of M & M's sitting on his nightstand. I reach into the bowl and grab a handful just as he does the same thing. Our hands touch and I quickly pull away.
"Sorry.." I mutter out to him as I put a handful of candy in my mouth.
He says nothing as he puts a handful of candy into his mouth as well.

We play a couple of games and just like he said, he's whipping me pretty good. I still feel kinda awkward around him though, at least I don't have to look at him to play video games.

"So how's school going?" he asks me still playing the game.
"Its ok, I guess." I reply looking at the TV.
"What's your favorite subject?" he asks
"Science." I answer back.
"Do you wanna go to college?" he asks me
"Yes, I wanna become a nurse." I tell him
"Oh wow. Thats nice Karen. Nurses are special people, angels here on earth." he tells me
"Oh thanks." I say back to him blushing.
"You have a boyfriend yet?" he asks me still watching the TV

What?! Why would he ask me that? Awkward...

"Ummm...no...I never had a boyfriend yet." I reply looking at the TV still.
"Really? A pretty girl like you? You never had a boyfriend yet? Thats odd." he tells me still playing the game.

OMG! He called me pretty! I can feel my face turn bright red and get hot.

"Umm...thanks." I say to him still looking at the TV.
"Have you even ever kissed a boy yet?" he asks me playing the game still.

Where the hell is this conversation going? I can't believe I'm having this conversation with him!

"Uhh...no I never have." I stammer back.
"Really? Never?" he asks
"Never..." I whisper back feeling embarrassed.
"Well...can I be your first?" he asks
"Huh?!" I answer back surprised.
"Your first kiss...I mean.." he tells me putting the controller down on the dresser.

My heart starts to race and I begin to breathe faster. My hands start to sweat. I can't believe this is happening right now!