All that I want is to be near to you
To spend my life making it clear to you
You are my heart, my soul, my dream come true
All that I am, I am because of you
~ "All That I Am", Elvis Presley
The transfer to the state prison was going to take place later that day, and Kristen was heartbroken that John had never come to see her. She had thought that their love could overcome anything. She had thought that John would understand her desperation, and that she loved him so much she would do anything to keep him by her side. She sat on the cot in her cell, in a gaudy orange jumpsuit, with her legs pulled up, and sulked. Nothing had turned out the way she had planned, and in Kristen's mind, Marlena was the cause of it all. If Marlena had never found the letter written in Aremid, if Marlena hadn't been so obsessive. Why couldn't that fucking woman mind her own damn business?
Kristen looked up when she heard footsteps in the corridor, and was surprised to see Abe and John round the corner. Leaping to her feet with a massive smile on her face, she said, "I didn't think you were going to come for me. I thought you had left me."
Staring at her incredulously, Roman responded, "I have questions, Kristen, and you have answers. That's what I'm here for. That's all I'm here for."
Her face fell slightly, but still she said, rushing on, "If you let me explain. You'll understand why I did everything I did. I love you, John! I was so scared of losing you! "
"Doc told me that you found the letter I wrote her in Aremid. If you found it, and you knew what was written inside...why did you hide it? What purpose would that serve? I don't understand why you wouldn't come to me."
"You had decided to move on with me, remember? That letter, and its contents, were a non issue. You had decided to be with me, John!"
"Then why not burn it? Throw it away...but you hid it, Kristen. In a book in our bedroom! A book I loaned to Doc for some light reading. "
"I wasn't thinking clearly! You and Marlena were outside with the children when I found it. I was upset, scared, worried...I ran upstairs, and cried over it. Then I just shoved it in a book. I I wanted to forget about it, but Marlena found it, and she wouldn't let it go," Kristen complained. "I tried to explain to her that you were with me now, but she wouldn't stop. She kept trying to find ways to talk to you about it."
"So you used the pregnancy to keep her quiet? You know how caring she is, and you knew that she would never do anything to intentionally cause harm to a child, so you manipulated her," Roman whispered harshly. "Do you know how fucked up that is, Kristen?"
"John, I was desperate! Our child deserved you too! But all she kept talking about was her love for you, and your love for her! As if our child wasn't important!"
"I would have loved, and taken care of our child. You know that."
"No! You decided to make a life with me!"
Roman stared at her for a moment, realizing that she had spent months rationalizing this in her own mind, and no matter what he said, she very likely wouldn't ever accept fault. "So after you lost our baby, in Paris...after you lied to me, and pretended to still be pregnant...you allowed your father to replace it with the baby Susan had?"
"I didn't know what else to do! I couldn't lose you!" she cried. "He said he had a solution, and I followed the plan."
"Did you know I was the father?"
