SUNRISE OF THE BUTTERFLIES

DISSOCIATION

Sometimes I feel like I'm not here.

Am I here?

-

The days pass on in a haze, eyelids droopy and movements slurred.

Everything is as it is, nothing more, nothing less.

I drift among the clouds, watching as we move, watching as we sleep, watching, watching, watching.

Always watching.

I feel detached.

A balloon that has been let go, drifting to the heavens,

Never to be seen again.

But then, I am here, present, grounded, alive

I can feel my heart beating for once, I can feel the breeze, I can feel, I can feel, I can feel.

It never lasts very long.

Feeling is there, but it will numb out, it will just exist, there will be no real feeling in it anymore.

I want to throw up.

[s.] a life of fading in and out of reality