Matt Murdock ~ Oneshots

I'm happy either way

In which y/n has been uncomfortable all life about being a girl, but struggles to put together the pieces of the puzzle.

You were born as a female but you never felt good about yourself. Body image issues, insecurity, feeling like a stranger to yourself.

You lived most of your life hearing about people not comfortable with themselves, with always the same sentences being said around you
"I'm too chubby"
"I'm too skinny"
"I'm ugly"
"I will never be good looking like celebrities"
"I'm too short"
You thought  the way you felt was common so you never cared much about it. You just lived with it.

You had your routines, your activities, your hobbies, school. You did it all like you were supposed to do.
Often you did things you didn't like to do just to seem normal.

The thing you hated the most was dressing up for parties, ceremonies and family gatherings. You had to wear dresses, fancy shoes and makeup, and you didn't like it one bit.
You thanked the universe for being born in the 21st century, how the hell did women wear all those uncomfortable dresses all the time in the past?

Your favorite history period was the 20th century, when pants became a product for women too.
You loved pants, so comfortable and versatile.

But then again, you had the need to fit with people around you, so from time to time you forced yourself to set aside loose pants to wear those dresses your parents were so happy to see on you, and to put some makeup on your face.

You used makeup everyday, but you absolutely hated it, because it took you precious time, and you never liked the results.
Everyone told you you looked pretty with it so that was enough to make you do it anyway just to be normal.

You got used to suppress your feelings and you lived your life almost happily, almost forgetting about your situation.
But sometimes it came out again, and in those moments you felt depressed for a while. Nobody ever noticed your mood swings, you were great at faking being happy.

The longest period of happiness, without that feeling creeping in your mind, was when you met your boyfriend.

You and Matt met at a bar named Josie's.
You worked there every night to get some money to afford rent.
Matt was a regular, or so you thought, seeing how Josie, the owner, talked to him and his friends.

Matt and his friends were the only constant in your life. Your job was to bring drinks at the tables, and almost every night you brought them their beers. Always the same brand, same quantity, same booth. They were always nice with you, and that made them your favorite clients.

You had been serving them since your first day at Josie's and you will always remember the first impression they had on you.

The blonde guy constantly had a playful grin, and his eyes were kind. He reminded you of a golden retriever, it was like he had a "positive vibes only" sign over his head.

The woman, blonde too, seemed shady at first, like she was hiding something. That feeling disappeared soon, she smiled a lot around her friends and was very kind with you.

Then there was Matt. The first time you saw him, you immediately thought he was cute with his smirk and his dark glasses. Then when you handed him a menu with the beers of the day written on it, he told you he didn't need it, pointing to a white cane next to him. You apologized and asked him if he wanted you to read them out loud.
You will never forget how sweet his smile was after you asked him that.

You had been working there for about two weeks and every time you saw the group of friends you liked them more. Especially Matt, who always had a smile on his face whenever you brought them their drinks.