Moonlight

(Two)

Want You Back // 5 Seconds of Summer

Micah

Panic. My brain is on overload and I don't know what thought to follow first.

I miss Charlie.

She has to forgive me.

She's moving away.

I latch on to that last one and attack it with everything I have.

"What does that mean, moving away?" I've already taken two steps in her direction and she's standing up ready to bolt.

No way.

"Tell me, Charlie."

"It has nothing to do with you." She crosses her arms like she's pissed but I see the worry in her eyes.

"Bullshit!"

Fuck, that was too loud. She winced.

"I'm sorry. I'll dial it down, but dammit talk to me." I refrain from full on pleading but I'm ready to get down on my knees and beg. She can't be moving away because of me, can she? Did I do this?

I watch as Charlie closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Someone clears their throat. I glance around, remembering we're literally surrounded. I swallow my pride, not that I have any left, and approach her. I touch her bent elbow. The contact startles her eyes open.

"Can we talk outside? Please, Charlie. Don't do this. Don't leave me in the dark." What I don't ask is that she doesn't toss a lifelong friendship in the gutter because of one stupid night. One night that I regret with everything I am.

Not because I don't love her. I do. I love her so damn much I'm willing to give up the dream of being with her if it means I can still have her in my life. I'm not strong enough to live without her.

But that night was so wrong. I made every mistake because I was scared shitless to tell her how I feel. Instead I showed up drunk acting like I wanted to fuck her. It was a train wreck on every level and there's no way I can ever come back from it. I know it. I've accepted it. I just wish she would forgive me.

It's killing me that she won't.

"Let's go sit on the deck," she says.

The air returns to my lungs as I'm finally able to take a breath.

"Thank you," I whisper before turning and heading directly to the deck. No one in the room moves a muscle but I feel them watching me go. I sense Charlie following me at a distance but at least she's honoring her agreement. I open the sliding door and take a seat on a lounger, immediately standing back up to pace. There's no way I can sit through this.

Charlie walks out half a minute later with a bottle of water. She uncaps it and takes a drink. I stop my pacing, unable to take my eyes off her—nothing new—my gaze glued to her neck as she swallows. Knowing it's only going to lead to bad things, I avert my eyes and look at my feet, waiting.

Charlie leans against the deck railing, looking out across the creek and to the mountain range across from us. A minute, maybe more, goes by before she says a word. When she finally speaks, she breaks my heart.

"I'm moving to New York at the end of the summer."

Fuck. It feels like I just lost her. Something about the tone in her voice is like a slamming door.

"Why?" I have to know even if it kills me.

"It's time, Micah."

"Time." I repeat the offensive word. I hate it. Time to move on. Time to let go. Time to forget but never forgive. That's what I hear.