Sun Above The Sea ( ON HOLD )

four

Change him

With tired eyes, I forced myself to stand up from my bed as I remembered that today is sunday and I need to go help at the clinic.

I lazily go to my restroom to brush my teeth and wash my face.

As I look at the mirror looking at my reflection, I saw how swollen my eyes are from crying all night long.

I just can't understand the likes of Vegas, why does it seems like it's so easy to them to end their lives without minding other's feelings.

why does he lose hope when there is someone who is willing to give him a reason to fight and look for the bright side.

It's not easy to turn my back to Vegas last night when I know in myself that he needs me, I want to stay by his side and help him. But I know I can't change the fact that he won't change his mind.

Wether he met me or not, he's meant to end his life. Without me or with me in his life, he's still sick.

It's better that I don't interfere with him anymore and enter his life, I may not able to face what will happen to him in the near future.

The sooner, the better. I'll force myself to avoid him and interfere in his life matter.

"Pete..." I turned to look at the door when I heard my grandma's voice.

"Yes grandma jiu?" I answered.

"The breakfast is ready, after you finish showering come down and eat" she said.

"Yes grandma" I said in a low voice.

I turned my head back to the mirror only to see my eyes tearing down again.

I took a deep sigh I'm trying to get my mind off Vegas' condition.

+++

I walk slowly to the clinic, as I walk I pass by Porsche sitting outside his bar bar together with his boyfriend.

"Pete..." Porsche called me.

"Hmm?" I turned my gaze to him blankly.

"Where are you going?" Asked Porsche.

"Helping at the clinic" I said without any expectation to show.

"What happened to you and Vegas last night?" Kinn asked so I divert my eyes to him.

"I gotta go, Dr. Top is waiting for me" I smile forcedly and turn around to proceed walking.

With my chest tighten, I walk lazily to the clinic. I don't feel better, as it seems like I want to cry and whined infront of Vegas.

I really hate him, I'm so annoyed.

I sigh and stomped my feet in the floor as I sat down and buried my face in between my legs.

Silently I sob in pain, I don't know why I'm so easily attached to him that it's so hard to accept that any time he's going to leave me.

I still want to be with him in a longer time.

After some time, I felt someone tapped my shoulder. Slowly I tilt my head a bit only to see the smiling face of Dr. Top with his glasses on that reflects to the sun.

"Here" Dr. Top gave me a handkerchief.

I smile a bit and accept it.