Love and Sin (2022)

Chapter 29

The same anxious feeling he always had, when it came to his brother, followed him down the hall, as Aleksei made his way to his brother's room. But he kept reminding himself, that this might have been the only chance to do it.

He rubbed his neck awkwardly cursing under his breath and knocked on the door. He knew his brother was probably not sleeping as, throughout the year, Kasimir spent nights working and studying, surviving on little sleep.

Kasimir opened the door abruptly and paused in shock when he saw Aleksei at the door.

Aleksei glanced inside and when he saw the turned-on bed lights and open laptop, he let himself into the room.

"Do I need to ask why you are here?" Kasimir closed the door. "It's 3 a.m."

"It's 3 a.m. but you are still awake and we need to talk." Aleksei said boldly and walked over to the nightstand. He saw the ice bucket and the vodka bottle. "Did you snatch this from downstairs or brought your own?" He waited for no answer. He opened the bottle. "I figure you won't mind since you're already drinking."

"I have an exam in a few days. Can't this wait until morning?" Kasimir took his own drink from the nightstand and sat on the armchair.

"It can't wait."

Aleksei took one strong sip and abandoned the glass on the nightstand. He then walked towards the bed and nudged some of the papers aside so he can sit. The silence in the room was for the first time bearable and Aleksei wondered if it was always this easy to talk back.

Kasimir drank from the glass and then swirled the ice in the glass, avoiding eye contact. He just wanted to get it over with and be left alone.

"It's about Layla." Aleksei said expecting all hell to break loose the moment he spoke her name. Instead, like he knew what this was about, Kasimir stared at the ice in his glass.

"What about her?"

Aleksei clasped his palms together nervously and leaned his elbows over his knees. "It wasn't my fault that she took her life away."

Kasimir took that calmly. He just kept staring at the glass and eventually, his lips parted. "I know."

Aleksei exhaled in relief. He kept telling that to himself, but hearing the words confirmed from his brother was what finally closed that matter.

"Then why do you hate me so much?"

Kasimir was still avoiding eye contact. Holding the glass in his hands had melted away all the ice, so he sipped the remains for his drink in one go. "I don't hate you."

Aleksei straightened his back, confused. "Then why do you keep ignoring me and.."

Kasimir slid down the armchair into a more comfortable position. "I have a headache."

"Answer me."

Kasimir brought the glass to his forehead, cold from the ice remains and he closed his eyes. "It started because I was angry at you. I just needed someone to blame and you were the victim at hand."

"How is that fair?" Aleksei asked.

Kasimir opened his eyes and then rose up to a proper sitting position. "It's not. But nothing that came out of that situation was fair."

Aleksei couldn't believe what he was hearing. "I blamed myself all this year and you let me.."

Kasimir cut him off."I couldn't even believe that thing had happened. In one split second, my friend was gone. I couldn't process it. And you had the habit of not taking things seriously."