court lady oh

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by Dedeoct

by Dedeoct

I was hard on you,
Punished you,
Slapped you,
With tear filled eyes.

Said I hated you,
Despised you,
And they were all lies.

You reminded me
of someone that I,
Used to know,
Used to love,
Used to be.

It's been so long,
She is dead,
Buried and
Decomposed,
Deep inside me.

Your smile,
Your talks,
Your wishes and
Dream.
All so naive,
Simple and
Plain.

Reminded me of
Things I tried to forget,
Bottled up memories,
Tears which haven't dried and
Wounds left unhealed.

Loving a prince,
Life is the price.
Hopes, promises and vows
Not believing is wise.

I was young and stupid,
I dug my own pit.
Believed those promises,
Reality was a harsh hit.

No more pain, I could feel.
I was all numb.
Falling in love with a crown prince,
I was indeed dumb.

As I turned old,
With lonely nights and
Bitter sweet memories,
I became cold
To the world,
To you and
To me.

Maybe it was fate,
Which made us meet.
Same mistakes and
The story repeats.

The more you were like me,
The more anxious I was.
The more I wanted to protect you,
The more cold I was.

The kingdom is no nest,
For your pure soul to rest.
No peace,
No dove,
No sentiments,
No love.

The palace will either
Kill you or
Fill you,
With greed,
Secrets,
And selfish aims.

Today, I'm being hanged.
I'll breath my last breath and
Leave behind all the burden.
For I have also protected,
What I wanted to protect.

It's not your fault,
Don't blame yourself.
It's not because of you,
But for you.
For you to live, live free.

Don't live like me.

(PS: This was about court lady oh from a kdrama (moon lovers scarlet heart ryeo). 100/10 great kdrama, would recommend. Brought tears in my eyes.)