Let The Games Begin // Billie Eilish

Chapter 23

Feelings. I have so many feelings right now.

I'm so excited about what happened with Billie. It almost doesn't feel real. I waited for that moment for two whole months, and now that it's finally happened it makes me feel so giddy and happy and like I could just melt. I can't believe that the most caring, cool, strong, stunning and lovely person I've ever met actually likes me back. I feel so lucky.

On the other hand, I'm terrified. In just 6 hours, I will have to wake up in this room for the last time and we will all be brought to The Ring. I won't even be able to spend time with Billie because we will be focused on literally fighting for our lives. That makes me feel sad, deflated, scared and angry.

Once again, I'm left tossing and turning in my bed while my running thoughts keep me awake.

"Fuck sake." I whisper to myself as I turn on my side for the umpteenth time to try and get some sleep.

"Dude, do you ever stop talking to yourself?"

I almost leap out of the bed as I hear Billie whisper from behind me and I sit up panting and clutching onto my chest.

"God, you almost gave me a stroke!" I whisper shout as she sits crouched down beside my bed.

"Sorry, my bad." She laughs quietly. "I, um, I saw that you were awake and I wanted to ask if you wanted to go on a late night walk? You know, one last time." She grins, and I can feel my heart melting in my chest. She looks so good in her silk pyjamas, her hair somehow perfectly shaping her face to accentuate her prominent jawline.

I don't know what I did to make someone like her look at me with such adoration in her eyes.

"Sure. I wasn't gonna get any sleep anyway."

She smiles brightly, showing off her pearly white teeth, and holds her hands out to help me out of bed.

I stand up lazily, and she doesn't let go of one of my hand as we tip-toe out of the room and into the dark hallway.

"I have an idea." She states simply as she directs us towards the garden area.

"Dude, I have ptsd from that place." I joke, earning a little chuckle from her.

"Come on, Peter isn't gonna get you just yet."

We walk through the entrance and settle under a tree a little near the back. We both lay down on the fake grass, and I smile to myself when I notice that the stars in the sky are visible through the glass ceiling.

"I'm sorry again about being such a dick to you. I just-I'm really bad at dealing with any emotion that isn't anger or sadness. I'm not used to feeling like this." Billie chuckles. "I thought I was doing the right thing by staying away from you."

"Well, you're stupid." I joke.

She takes a breath. "I was also afraid you'd hate me if you found out how I felt about you." She says quietly, like she's embarrassed to be admitting her feelings. "And I couldn't handle that but I also couldn't handle not being able to tell you the truth and it just got really overwhelming. I'm sorry."

I turn my head to look at her, trying to exude empathy through my eyes.

"I get it." I smile. "I was scared of you knowing how I felt too. Do you know how embarrassing it would have been if I got rejected by the coolest person here? I probably would have just ran out in front of Peter's knife as soon as I stepped foot in The Ring."

"Cove!" She laughs, playfully hitting my arm.

"I would!" I chuckle, and we both lay there giggling to ourselves for a few moments.

"I can't believe I met you." I blurt out, causing her to turn her head.

"What?"

"If I had known on selection day that getting picked for The Games meant I was gonna get to meet you, I wouldn't have been so angry." I say truthfully.

"Honestly I feel the same way." She replies. Now that makes me turn to look at her.

"Okay well that's just a lie."

"No, it's really not. My life was so boring in Block 5. Every day was the exact same, and everyone around me was just....existing. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and all, but I feel like before selection day I was just living to work, and nothing else. I didn't have any real friends or anything that made me feel good. I thought that was what my life was gonna be like forever."

I nod my head at her as I listen intently.

"But then I met you and I think you're the most interesting person I've ever met. There's just something about you, Cove. It's like... for the first time in my life I'm excited to wake up in the morning because I can't wait to talk to you and hear about your day, or your night or whatever."

I turn my head back to the ceiling and breath in heavily to try and stop a tear from falling from the corner of my eye.

"I can't believe you think about me like that." I whisper.

"I wish I told you sooner." She replies, not taking her eyes off of me.

"And I wish I told you sooner." I say quietly.

I contemplate asking her my next question. Maybe it's not the best idea, I don't want to make things awkward or uncomfortable. But then again, I'd rather die knowing the answer to this question than spending the last few days of my life wondering.

"Billie, can I ask you something?"

"Mhm?"

"Earlier today, when you said that you can never protect the people you love, did you mean that... I mean was that about.. am I- um... would I be included-"

"I meant you, Cove."

I can't help the shy smile from spreading across my face. She too has a little smile toying at her lips, and I wholeheartedly feel like nothing else matters in this moment.

"Good." I say back cheekily.

"Oh come on, you have nothing else you wanna say to me?" She plays back, raising her eyebrows at me.

"Nope." I joke in an attempt to be stubborn.

"God you're annoying." She says as she looks back to the ceiling. "We should probably head back now."

I think for a second. "Or we could just fall asleep here." I suggest casually.

"Huh?"

"Why not? What are they gonna do, kill us? It's a bit too late for that don't you think?" I reply.

She considers my offer for a second. "I guess you're right. Ok sure, come here."

For the first time since I've known her, she opens her arms out to me. I reposition myself to be laying in her hold as she wraps her arms around my shoulders and torso.

"Goodnight, Cove." She whispers before planting a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Goodnight Billie." I reply at the same volume. After a few moments of silence, I feel like I have one more thing I need to say.

"You do know I love you too, right?" I ask softly.

"Of course I do, you fool."

Her response makes me smile as I close my eyes to try and get some sleep.

Despite tomorrow being the day that The Games begin, I feel completely safe laying under this tree in Billie's arms.

Even though I know I might die tomorrow, I have never felt happier to be alive than I do now.

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A/N: A little fluffy chapter because you've all been so patient during the build up💛

Also, why do I feel nervous for the The Games to begin as if I'm not the author and this isn't completely fictional?

Thanks sm for reading!