Let The Games Begin // Billie Eilish

Chapter 30

A/N: One of my favourite chapters :)

"Billie listen-"

"I'm gonna go and look at the damage." Billie says monotonously as she stands up and brushes herself off. I just stare up at her and can already sense that she's upset.

And I hate that I was the person who upset her.

"Can I come with you?" I ask hopefully.

She pauses for a second before answering. "I think I'm gonna go alone. Be safe, ok? I'll be back soon."

I nod slowly in defeat as I watch her turn around and head for the exit of the cave, feeling deflated because she won't hear me out. I mentally prepare myself to start sulking for the next hour or so and wallow over the fact that she hates me right now.

But then I remember how Billie stayed in the bathroom after I misheard her and Milaus, and refused to leave until I listened to her side of the story. She wasn't willing to let me go until I was back on her side. She stood her ground because she didn't want me to think that she didn't care about me, and that's exactly how I feel right now.

"Wait, Billie!" I say loud enough so she can hear me. She hesitantly halts her footsteps and turns her head. I get up clumsily and quickly jog over to where she's stood just beside the cave. I stand in front of her and stare sincerely into her crystal eyes.

"Just listen, ok? I haven't given up, if that's what you're thinking. This is just a really scary situation and I've never heard of two people making it out alive before. I was just thinking rationally, and I hate that I made you feel like I don't care enough to try. I only said those things because I really care about you and I want you to have the happy life you deserve once you're out of here." The words practically fall out of me, leaving my a little out of breath once I'm done.

Billie's eyes stay glued to mine, and I can practically see the thoughts processing in her brain.

"You don't get it." She replies quietly. I raise my eyebrows a little, encouraging her to continue. "I won't be happy if you're not there."

I softly tilt my head and stare back into her piercing blue eyes. "Billie-"

"It's okay. I get where you're coming from, I do. I guess I'm just having a hard time coming to terms with it." She says quietly before rolling her eyes and turning to the side. "God, I fucking hate this." She mumbles under her breath.

I know what she means. It's awful that we were given the chance to get to know someone, and now we're forced to say goodbye.

"I hate it too." I reply truthfully.

She looks up at me with her jaw clenched and one eyebrow raised slightly above the other. "Do you regret it?"

"Regret what?"

This girl needs to give more context to her sentences.

"You know...getting close with someone."

Immediately I feel an instinct kick in to strongly defend my answer.

"Oh my God, of course not! And especially not you. I still pinch myself at the fact that you even talk to me. I can't tell you how lucky I feel to call you my... friend."

Uh-oh. I have absolutely no idea what to call us. We both know damn well that we're not just friends, but we've never exactly clarified what we are, and I'm not about to overstep any boundaries.

Billie scoffs playfully. "Sure. I'm your friend."

My cheeks heat up at the sight of her smirking to herself and I laugh internally as I remember the last time I called her my friend. However, she didn't find it as amusing back then...