Fools, All of Them | HEEJAKEHOON

Fools Can't Be Quiet

A moan wakes Jay up. Checking his phone, he confirms it’s barely past two in the morning and he’s ready to kill someone. Normally he wouldn’t care, he understands everyone has their needs and sometimes you can’t help but be a little loud. However, this is the third time it happens in a week. He just wants to sleep.

What’s more, he cannot be the only one who hears them, whoever it is, they are not being quiet at all. And that’s the thing, Jay has no idea who it is. What he does know for sure is that it’s two people, one of them has to be one of the members. That’s as much as he knows. He doesn’t know which of the members it is, doesn’t know who they are with or how they are sneaking this other person in. And he doesn’t care. He just wants them to have sex more quietly.

He swears he can hear one of them constantly shushing the other, like they know they are loud, but it doesn’t do much. It doesn’t do anything at all.

Right now, Jay has two options. He can, one, get up and catch whoever it is in the act, because they are definitely in the living room. Or two, he can wait until morning, call for a group meeting and talk in general without pointing at anyone. He thinks with the latter he can avoid any uncomfortable scenarios, he really doesn’t want to see his friend having sex, so he’ll go with that one. For now, he’ll just have to put on earphones.

The thing about Jay’s plan is that it does not go how he expects. Morning comes, he gathers everyone in the living room. He sits on the sofa, Jungwon sits on his left and Jake sits on his right. Niki sits next to Jake. On the floor in front of Jay sit Sunghoon, Heeseung and Sunoo, in that order. Jay looks at everyone and sighs.

“Okay, whoever it is that’s having really loud sex at two in the morning, can you please tone down the volume a little?” He says, and can see the moment all of them either choke on nothing or turn redder than a tomato, Jake does both.

“You called us all here for that?” Sunoo asks, “couldn’t you just… ask the one who’s doing it in private?”

“I don’t know who it is, and I don’t care, I just want to have full night rest without being woken up every other night,” Jay says with a bit more desperation than he would have liked.

“Wait, now I’m kind of curious,” Sunoo starts. “I also hear it at night, I just thought one of you was jerking off or something.”

“How do you know they are having sex?” Jungwon asks, face still flush.

“Because I can hear two people?” Jay thinks it’s obvious, how else would he know that but not know who it was?

“Hold on, are you saying… one of us is getting someone into the dorm and having sex with them? And no one has seen anything?” Niki points out how weird it all sounds.

“He also has to get the person out before the rest of us wake up,” Jake adds.

“I’ll give it to you, whoever of you it is, you have some talent there,” Jay concedes.

It's in that moment, as Jungwon, Jake, Niki and Sunoo keep hypothesizing, that Jay notices some things. First, Heeseung looks like he’s about to panic, it’s not that obvious, but it shows in his eyes. Second, Sunghoon seems about to pass out from embarrassment, like he wants to hide from everyone and never come out again. Third, neither of them has said anything through the discussion. In his mind it made sense for it to be just one of them, but now that he thinks about it, maybe it wasn’t always the same member. Maybe the previous night had been Heeseung, but the time before might have been Sunghoon. He had no way of knowing, at least not for sure, that it was only one of them.

He does not want to put them in the spotlight, thought.

“I’m just saying, it seems weird to me because I didn’t hear anything,” Jake says, “I don’t mean the moaning, I did hear that, but I never heard the door open or close, so how is the other person getting in?”