Alive And So Loved

Slightly Adorable

Wilbur's POV:

Here in front of me is this insanely odd girl, one of which i've only had maybe 10 minutes worth of interaction with, and now we're leaning over the table digging into pancakes together.

"Remember, I'm not murdering you today, you don't have to eat those pancakes like they're your last meal on Earth" I say smiling, enthralled by the way she's ripping into her meal with no mercy.

She grins with her mouth full and covers it as she laughs trying to make sure nothing comes out.

"I love pancakes" she mumbles out between chewing.

Usually I would have found it a little gross for someone to shamelessly talk with pancake hanging out of their mouth but for some reason I can't seem to care when it's Louise.

In fact, it's slightly adorable.

"So," she begins once she's finished swallowing her bite, "if you were a kitchen utensil, what would you be?" she asks.

I sit there staring at her with my mouth slightly open and eyes scrunched in confusion.

"What?!" she shouts defensively throwing her hands up, "it's a good question to get to know someone".

I sit and think for a minute.

"I could do the really sad trauma dump version and lay it all on you, or I could to the simple answer. The choice is yours" I reply.

She leans in further to the table, "I'm interested to hear how you can turn a kitchen utensil into a trauma story, so please enlighten me".

I let out a laugh and start.

"Oven mits. Yeah, I would be oven mits. I'd say that for most of my childhood up until maybe a few years ago, I let people protect themselves over my own comfortability and safety. I was their shield, I'd protect them with nothing in return on their part. Kinda the same way oven mits are just kinda thrown into burning hot machines to protect our hands. I almost feel bad for them. But at the same time, it's a good thing to protect people that I actually care about nowadays like my friends"

She contemplates for a minute, "You know, I guess I feel bad for oven mits as well."

"We'll start a fan club for them".

She smiles but a little part of sadness seeps through it.

"Don't worry, I'm much better now than I was before. I removed all of those people from my life and I have an amazing group of friends nowadays".

For some reason it looks like that made her even more upset, and I'm not sure why but it has an insane effect on my heart and I feel it cracking.

I have this sudden urge to protect her from every tiny thing that could ever possibly hurt her.

"Tell me about your friends" she says with a forced excitement as she notices my expression change.

I'll pause my concerns for now and answer her.

"Well my main friend group consists of Tommy, Ash, Shelby, Phil, and-" I hesitate. Should I say Techno's real name?

I think about it, and I know that when I tell him about this later he'll find it funny if I say Technoblade.

"Technoblade".

Her eyebrow raises at the last one and it's a wonderful sight. Every emotion she shows just makes me want to bottle it up and watch it over and over again.

"Technoblade?" She asks.

I rub behind my neck laughing, "yeah, his real name's boring so he likes Technoblade"

Good save, I think to myself, I'm not ready to tell her about streaming and all of that shit right now.

"So what are they like?" She has this keen interest on her face so I have no choice but to answer.

"Well Tommy is 18, and very, I mean VERY childish. I'll never let him hear the words come out of my mouth but he's the brother I never had"

Louise's eyes immediately soften drastically and a small smile creeps back up to her face, "tell me more" she says almost whispering.

"Ash is my mate who I'm actually starting a band with shortly"

"Who knew murderers could have other hobbies?" She says.

"We dabble in the arts to stay grounded"

Louise leans forwards and rests her head in her chin.

"What about your other friends?" she asks.

"Shelby lives in America but we talk online often and she visited me here once too. She's the calm one, and the big sister of the group".

Something in her demeanor drops more and it makes me want to jump across the table and punch every bad thing out of her body.

Jesus Christ, maybe I am a serial killer?

"And then uh- Phil. Right, Phil. He's the oldest, in fact Tommy and I have an ongoing joke where we call him dad even though he's only a few years older than me.

He has always been everyone's biggest support system, and is just a walking machine of advice".

That makes Louise smile, which evidently makes me smile and continue on with Technoblade.

"And then there's Technoblade. He's the kind of friend who can simultaneously be the kindest and meanest human being ever"

Louise starts to bubble with laughter and my heart melts into some odd mixture of gooey lust.

"He's meaner than any bully I've ever encountered yet I willingly allow myself to talk to him every day".

She smiles and finishes her last bite of pancake.

"They sound like a joy"

I let out a sarcastic huff, "if joy is a mixture of heaven and hell, then yes they are a joy".

Silence fills the table.

"What about your friends? What are they like?"

Her eyes go wide for less than a second, in fact I barely catch it, but I know what I saw.

"Oh!" She jumps.

"They're all very sweet, and .... kind. Yes, they're kind".

My mind can only jump to one conclusion, that she doesn't have any friends.

But at the same time, how can Louise, the girl that was willing to have some random breakfast at 10 pm and joke about murderer kinks with me, a random stranger, not have at least one friend?

In a matter of seconds she becomes more of a mysterious enigma than anyone I've ever met, the only difference is that this time I want to figure her out. I have the strongest urge to crack her open and learn every part of her life.

I feel psychotic over her.

This can't be good.