Rasputin-Jesus-Kun and the Fermented Yeast Adventure

Chapter 1

"Ah kawaii~" Rasputin-Jesus-kun's eyes sparkled unhealthy as he bent to look at the poster hanging on the school notice board.

"THANK GOD IT'S NOT ANOTHER MISSING PERSON POSTER" Growled Karrot-kun, his orange hair so bright it caused cars two towns away to pull over thinking there was a strip bar nearby.

"It's a competition!~" exclaimed Raspu-jesus-kun. He ripped the poster off the wall and delicately studied the requirements for entry.

"LOOKS LIKE YOU JUST HAVE TO SING. IT'S NOT LIKE I WANT YOU TO OR ANYTHING"

"Ah watashi know-"

"BAKA"

"-how to sing~" Rasputin-jesus-kun cast the poster-chan over his smooth shoulder and stared right at Karrot-kun's eyes; he was going to win this competition even if it meant skipping the soup kitchen on Saturday!

"Obama-chan~ bring me my Bible! This song must be kawaii desu~!"

It was the night of the first round of the 'Fermented, resented and demented' high school's music competition. Rasputin-jesus-kun wasn't nervous. He used another student as a seat as he made a few last minute changes to his Hatsune Miku costume, combing through his physics-breaking locks like they were peasants on a battlefield.

"Entry 69: Rasputin-jesus-kun!" In slowmo Raspu-jesus-kun spun his head around to the stage, gasping like an anime school girl that just started a 10 minute flashback and reflection of the last 37 episodes. He stood up off of the peas- I mean student and kicked the sucker away.

"Good luck Rasputin-jesus-kun, I will be watching in the crowd!" Cheered Obama-chan, his obvious blushing and romantic advancements flying straight over Rasputin-jesus-kun's shiny head.

"No time, Obama-chan~" he brooded, " my time has come and I must face my destiny" He took a large swig of wine and smeared it across his face with his jacked arm; Obama-chan wished it was his wine-flavoured lipstick that was smeared on Rasputin-jesus-kun's face, but the closest he'd got to was tripping and dropping KFC chicken onto Rasputin-jesus-kun's godly body while he was sleeping. But there was no time. Rasputin-jesus-kun was already striding out onto the stage. Obama-chan sighed. Karrot-kun waited angrily in the crowd. You guessed it. There's an ad break now.