Their Sky

"What the hell was that about?"

Wednesday | 1:16PM

Second break finally rolled around. Oscar had hung out with Abby during first break. Since of course, they still weren't permitted to leaving at this break, he hung out with Noelle Dignan, Ella Docker, Kaitlyn Payne, and of course, Abby Maiys. The other three were Abby's friends and all of them were in 11th grade.

Oscar was sitting on a rock with Noelle, talking about writing and such while Abby, Ella, and Kaitlyn talked about something else. Oscar wasn't paying much attention since none of it applied to him. Probably gossip, which wouldn't matter at this point anyways since Oscar didn't know these people yet. Only a few. But even the ones he knew, he didn't actually know. He never payed attention to people in middle school, he only talked to Evelyn and Kaia. That was all. Sure he recognized the faces of the people, but he barely focused on who they were and what they said.

As Oscar spoke to Noelle, he didn't pay attention to anything happening around him. That is, until someone interrupted the conversation, which had somehow turned into all 5 of them talking. I guess Kaitlyn, Abby, and Ella joined their conversation.

"Hey, Oscar?" Oscar looked up, and unexpectedly, Elijah was standing right there. 

Holy shit. Oscar thought. That was always his first thought, especially when Elijah was close to him. His heart was racing. 

"Y-yeah?" Oscar looked up at him, confused. He couldn't hold eye contact. Ever. It was one of his weaknesses. But Elijah was looking right into his eyes.

"I'm sorry for staring at you in class, I didn't know you had Cystic Fibrosis. Next time I won't look at you if you're coughing." Elijah stated. He sounded 'rambley'. If that was even a word.

"It's fine." Oscar whispered, smiling a bit. Elijah didn't have to apologize. Maybe he was trying to impress the people around Oscar.

"Again, I'm really sorry." Elijah said again. Had Oscar not sounded kind enough when he accepted Elijah's apology?

"It's okay, don't worry about it." Oscar said, laughing awkwardly. He was too quiet.

He nodded slightly then walked away. Oscar looked down, blushing.

No, snap out of it, you can't like him, you like Kaia. Oscar reminded himself. He can't like this guy, Oscar doesn't even know him. He's probably straight anyways. No point. I mean I guess it wouldn't be a bad thing if he stopped liking Kaia. But whatever emotions he was feeling towards Elijah, were unknown to him. 

Maybe I'm not asexual. Oscar thought. Immediately he pushed that thought away. No, that's too big of a stretch. 

"What the hell was that about?" Abby asked after Elijah was out of earshot. All 4 of them were staring at Oscar.

"He was just apologizing for something." Oscar whispered quietly, smiling again. Stupid smile. 

Oscar brushed off his feelings towards Elijah, whatever they may be, and excused them as just wanting to be friends with him. Platonic attraction.

"Okay?" Abby said and continued on talking. 

Oscar felt off. Like something had suddenly happened. The tension seemed to have changed between the girls. Maybe he could consider them his friends.

Wednesday | 11:46PM

Oscar was texting Kaia. Again, something seemed off as they spoke. Kaia was being weirdly nice. Nicer than usual. Oscar could tell something was bothering her. They had been friends since Kindergarten, they knew just by the slightest difference in either tone or texting style that something was wrong. And Oscar knew. He just brushed it off, like he did with whatever his feelings are. They were unclear to him. It was quite overwhelming. 

"I have to go." Kaia texted suddenly. Mid conversation regarding Kaia's newest art piece. Strange.

Hopefully she's okay. Oscar thought, heart quickening a bit. Maybe out of nerve, maybe because he remembered what Elijah had said to him.

Crushes are strange. Sometimes it's clear as day whether you like them or not, and other times it's like trying to find the sun when the sky is covered in dark, stormy clouds. Oscar knew he liked Kaia. But what Oscar can't figure out is how he feels about Elijah. And what's even more confusing is whether said person likes you back, platonically or not. At this point, Oscar can't tell how Elijah feels. Probably nothing. It's been 6 hours. No feelings should be able to form from one interaction.

It's probably best if I sleep. Oscar thought as he yawned. He wanted to let go of his emotions, even if it was only for a few hours. Live in a world of dreams. Oh how he always wished he could. Oscar used to imagine another world. One where everything played out exactly how he wished it did in reality. Sadly, nothing had gone to plan. Oscar didn't look like a boy and he would never fully be who he wanted to be. 

Friday | 1:34PM

Friday finally rolled around. Oscar had friends. Sort of. Abby, Noelle, Ella, and Kaitlyn. Oscar hung out with them at least, he was with them right now by the rock him and Noelle always sat on. That was close enough to being friends. Sure, they were nothing like Kaia and Evelyn, but it was a start. Oscar was closest to Noelle out of that group. He didn't really click with the others. Maybe Abby, but the other two, he probably wouldn't talk to if he wasn't part of this group.

Oscar always looked at Elijah in class. But in his mind that didn't necessarily mean anything. Sure he was attractive, but that didn't mean Oscar had to be attracted to him. After all, it was just looks. Maybe he was funny. He seemed funny. After all, observing people instead of actually talking to them can teach you a lot.

The bell rang. The first half of break was over. I guess it's time to actually eat food. That bell normally was when people decided to start eating their lunches, whether they packed them or ordered them to the school. Oscar had a packed lunch, he can't afford to order in food, nor would he want to. He didn't even have a phone, he broke his old one a month before school started. He was waiting until October, that's when his new phone would arrive. 

He took out his lunch from his violet backpack. He's had that backpack for years. 

He stared at his food. He didn't want to touch it. He didn't want to eat it. Especially not in front of everyone else. He was afraid he'd get teased for how much he ate.

People suck.

(1084 words)