FUR

Hairy Potter?

FUR's PiOwVi

A week after the school year ended, it's now eight o'clock in the evening and I am standing straight right in front of my full-length body mirror, exploring my body and face.

Well, to start of, I can see my beard and mustache simply hanging on my face. Hahaha. Next to both my arms then down to my legs.

Errr... I'm just so tired shaving them off. Babalik rin after two to three days, I mean it's not that fully mahaba, pero nakakairita na kasi eh when they start to grow. Kung may pera nga lang sana kami, nakapagpakonsulta na kami agad sa isang dermatologist to look for possible hair-stopping solutions.

While scanning and exploring my face and body, I heard my dearest mama Pandora called,

"ULYSSES! Anak, kain na tayo. Bumaba ka na riyan! Tawagin mo na rin ang kapatid mo."

"Yes mama Panda, coming right up!"

Yeah. My mama Panda knows I'm gay but she never make takwil of me. Haha. So conyo ko na. :D

She accepted and loved the real me. That's why I really love her. She's already widowed na kasi because my papa Diego died of lung cancer five years ago. My father's a great man. He also accepted me for who and what I am. And I'm so grateful to Papa God na binigyan niya ako ng mapagmahal na magulang.

And with that, bigyan na'yan ng Jacket! Hahaha. Kidding!

And yes, I have a kapatid, a sister actually. Her name is Tyra Elaine Realonda.

I was about to call her when I saw her went out of her room, startled by seeing me then she said,

"Oh? Where are you going dogface? You left your doghouse again? It smells dogshit here. I should have chained you up. You must stay there until we're done eating ni mama. We'll serve you the leftovers na lang later. Okay?"

Ang kapal! Well, the one who called me lang naman 'dog' last week before the school year ended is my evil sister. I curse her to death. Wala talaga akong pambato rito kasi maganda naman talaga 'to at ang kinis, kutis porselana. Ang gaspang nga lang ng ugali. Pweh!

But to point it all out, takang-taka talaga ako kasi none of my parents or even my sister were really all hairy and shaggy. Well, kay papa, when he's still alive, as in parang normal lang, normal na panlalaki lang talaga yung dating. Eh ang sa'kin, hindi talaga normal 'to, sa edad ko pa nga lang masasabi mo na. At hindi ko rin naman masasabi na may ibang lahi ako or such. Maybe, just maybe, put all the blame sa genes na hindi ko rin naman alam kung kanino ko to talaga namana? Heh! Hahanap at hahanap talaga ng dahilan. Eh sumpa ata to eh? T___T

Minsan, naiisip ko nga na ampon lang ba ako o ano. (Deep Sigh)

I went down, ignoring what my evil sister said.

During Dinner

"Mama, may beauty pageant po pala dito next week sa fiesta. Sabi ng friends ko, dapat daw sumali ako. Sure win raw ho yun! And ma, may isang modelling agency ho ang nangrerecruit ng bagong models to endorse their product, malaking company raw ata 'to. So sumali na rin ako." Sabi ni Elaine.

Mama replied, "Wow! Sige anak. Susuport ka namin ng kapatid mo all the way. Hahaha. Galing talaga ng anak ko."

"Of course naman ma. Sa kinis at ganda ko ba namang 'to, who would resist diba? Well, not like ang iba diyan. Ang balat pwede nang gawing damit, or better yet, carpet." Ang malditang sabi ng kapatid ko. Ang yabang talaga. Nanahimik na lang ako nang sinuway siya ni mama.

"Tigilan mo nga 'yan Elaine. Humaba na ata ang tabas ng dila mo? Gusto mo putulin na natin 'yan?"

Hahaha. Ang cool lang talaga ni mama. Yan! Gusto ko yan! Kidding!

"Duh! Mama, I'm stating a mere fact here. Hayyy! Palibhasa kasi, AMPON!" Sabay walk out.

"Hoy Tyra Elaine! Bumalik ka dito! Puputulin ko na talaga 'yang dila mo. Sasabay ko na rin 'yang sungay mo!" - Mama.

"Hayaan mo na ma. Masasanay ka rin. Kasi ako, sanay na sanay na. Araw-arawin ba naman? Hahaha." pero deep inside, anchakit chakit na. Ahuhu! :'(

And as I glanced through our tv, palabas na pala ang favorite teleserye ko tuwing gabi sa ABS-CBN, ang 'Moon of Desire'. Nakaka-relate talaga ako rito. Pero masyado atang mahaba ang mga buhok ng bidang si Meg Imperial dito. Normal pa ba ito? Mukhang unggoy na eh. HAHA. Hindi rin naman ganyan ka grabe yung lagay ko. And oh my geee!

"Mama Panda, please turn off the heater. It's getting hot in here." - Me

"Dream high anak. Wala tayong heater dito. Labyo!" - Mama Pandora bear.

Kasi, shit, nagliliyab ba naman ng apoy at kagwapuhan sina JC De Vera at Dominic Roque kahit televised nga lang. Ano pa kaya kung sa personal na? Edi hello Garci, goodbye panty! Hahaha.

Pero may nakuha akong info dito, may tawag sa sakit na'to. Hindi ko na nga lang matandaan. I'll just make some research next time.

Isa nga pala akong Chemical Engineering student ng St. La Push University. I'm moving to my third year level this next school year. At kahit anong hirap talaga ng kinuha kong course, pinipilit ko pa rin talaga makapasa. And nakakatawa o weird man pakinggan, kinuha ko 'tong course dahil gusto ko makaimbento ng rapid hair-stopping posion. Kasi yung iba, effective nga, pero ilang ulit mo pa talaga dapat gagamitin para makuha ang desired result. Magasto, eh dukha si ate eh. Haha. Desperada ko talaga, I know, wag nang ipalandakan.

At napag-alaman ko ring masyado atang marami ang testosterones ko, male hormones. Hindi ata to normal. Pero bakit ganun? Despite sa dami ng testosterones ko, bakit pusong mamon pa rin ako? Hahaha. Di bale. The main issue here is the hair that's been growing all over my body and face. Hayy. Hopeless case na ata si ate. Hahaha. Pero ang sabi daw ni teacher namin sa  isang subject namin which tackles about hormones, eitherway, if you want to lose rapid hair growth, you have to gain estrogens, female hormones, or to lessen your testosterones in some methods prescribed by your doctor.

Hayyy! KumuKuya Kim na ata ako. Hahaha.

Back to reality, (Fiction to 'te, 'wag kang ano!), oh well, here I am, strangling my blankets and patting my pillows, ready to sleep na. Ahihi!

But even before I drifted to sleep, someone called thru my phone...

(Ring)

Hala! Unregistered number. Sino kaya 'to? O_o

(Picks Up)

"Hello! Good evening. May I know who's on the next line?"

(No response)

Hala! Ba't walang nasagot? Baka si Jether na'to? Kyyyaaa! So kilig na me. Assumerang unicorn ko talaga! Ahihi!

"Uhhhmmm... Ate? Kuya? Matutulog na po sana..."

"I just wanna say good night, son. This is Teresa, your biological mother."

(Tut Tut Tut)

My huuwwaaaaaaat? O__________O