14: Little Heaven

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My eyes squinted open, blinded by the sun shining through the dingy blinds in Duff's room. Not having the strength to move, I scanned the room, reading off the posters. I had watched him take posters from outside of the Strip's bars after the show wrapped, and this is where they all wound up. He had months of Hollywood legend, all on his bedroom walls.

He shifted to the other side of the bed, groaning slightly. He must have flipped onto his other side from the pain because his back was facing me. I scooted over, my chin resting on his shoulder. "Hi."

"Hello, princess."

He moved his head back slightly so our cheeks were touching, and I could feel him smile. "Did you wind up sleeping alright?"

"Good enough," he mumbled, "shoulder still hurts."

I rubbed it gently, seeing his eyes squeeze shut. "I know. Look at me, for God's sake." I sat up as he rolled on his back, beaming up at me. I showed the gauze on my face off, waving my hand under it. "I'm gonna have a sweet-ass battle scar."

"Yeah, well you better get up and go to the drug store before that 'sweet-ass battle scar' gets infected." He tapped my thigh lightly, fingertips lingering. I sighed dramatically, rolling my head back.

"Damn you and your common sense, babe." I dragged my legs out of bed, opening the blinds. He covered his face, groaning loudly. "Oh, you fuckin' vampire. Get out of bed and come with me."

"Why?"

"Because I need shit to heal you, too."

***

It didn't matter that it was August in Los Angeles. Duff and I were wearing long sleeves and boots.

I stood in the check-out line of CVS with a basket full of Neosporin, butterfly tape, gauze, medical tape, and other assorted medical products. I tapped my foot impatiently, as the woman who was checking out was trying to count out the exact change. I turned my head, looking to see if I could spot Duff over the aisles.

Finally, he sauntered over to me, casually dropping a small box into the basket. I looked down.

"No."

"Why?"

"No. Check out by yourself."

"And buy one box of condoms?"

He frowned down at me in disapproval. "Are you getting mad that I'm purchasing protection?"

"Duff," I mumbled, lowering my voice, "first, since when do you use condoms? And second, I'm buying all this medical shit, and then you're throwing this in? That's the last thing that should be on your mind."

He huffed and snatched it out of the basket, taking a pack of gum from the counter before standing right behind me. "Hey, at least I'm trying to not get you pregnant on tour."

I laughed, covering my mouth. "Very considerate."

***

My stomach was tied in absolute knots the night before we left for tour. Both Duff and Slash were at a management meeting, arranging the bus and the first hotel for the night, so I was left alone in their apartment as the sun set over the buildings.

I ambled into the living room, seeing how our bags were already stacked in a corner. Running out of options of things to do, I stuck my face in the fridge, snatched a beer, and then turned to take the phone off the hook.

"Hello?"

"Calling to say goodbye."

Jo sighed on the other end. She was home from work by now. "Haven't heard from you in a while."

I tutted. "Yeah, a lot... a lot's happened."

"Are you okay?"

"Um..." I took a shaky breath. "Yes. You might have a stroke the next time you see me, but I guess so. I'm not living at home right now."

Silence.

"Steph, um... She found Duff and me because she said she wouldn't be home, and, uh, she got mad and threw a bottle. At his head. And it, uh, got both of us, and I have this pretty little scar on my face now. So she's out of there at the end of the month, I told my landlord."

She sniffled. "Do you want me to come see you?"

"No, I'm alright."

"Why didn't you call me, Ivy?"

"I'm staying with Duff and Slash. I was. We're leaving for tour in the morning-"

The earpiece nearly damn exploded with her shouts. "WE? YOU'RE FUCKING GOING WITH THEM?"

I held the phone away from my ear, then inched it back. "Yeah, um, I didn't really want to tell you. I'm going for the first leg." I paused, waiting for her response. "I promise, Jo, it'll be fine-"

"They're bad influences, Ivy. You know that. You're gonna wind up dead if you go on this tour. You're notorious for going big or going home. You're gonna come home with damn liver poisoning."

"God, just shut up!" I shouted. "I'll be okay. I'm there, like, supervising them. I won't die, Jo."

"I'm just saying, don't get your hopes up that he'll actually spend a lot of time with you. He's a rock star now, he's going to be off with other chicks and drinking and doing drugs-"

My face turned red with rage. "Wow, thanks for the sisterly support! I'll see you in a month, Joanne," I sneered angrily, slamming the phone into the receiver before she could say anything. I let out a frustrated scream into my hands, my head hitting the wall behind me.

"Ivy?"

I peeked around the corner, Slash and Duff standing in the entryway.

"Fuck, did you hear that?"

Slash began to say something before Duff jabbed him in the ribs. "Hey!" Slash protested, walking further in and putting his guitar by the luggage pile.

I didn't say anything, just stormed into Duff's room. He followed me after a moment, watching me flop down on the bed. He sat next to me gingerly, his calloused fingertip tracing my knee. "Do you... want to talk about it?"

"Jo's getting in my head."

He fell back on the bed next to me, staring at the ceiling. "Is she mad about you going on tour?"

"Duff, she said you're going to cheat on me. She said I'm gonna come home with, like, alcohol poisoning. She's probably right." I felt my chest tighten as he gripped my hand.

"I'm not gonna do that. Either way, I told myself I wasn't sleeping around on this tour, with or without you. And I'll make sure you'll be alright. I'll watch over you."

I rolled over, looking at him. "But who's going to watch you? You're a lot worse than I am."

He hummed. "Then we'll just have to watch each other. No one's dying on our watch, baby. No one's leaving."

I laid back down. "I mean, if this actually goes well enough, and we don't majorly fuck up, either of us, you should think about moving in with me."

"Really?"

"Can't hurt. It'll be like tour every day."

"Our own little heaven."

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