Third Time's a Charm ✓

fifteen

FRIDAY. 11. MARCH. 2022. ( half - edited )

WHATEVER TROUBLE CAL had gotten into over his last party, he was over it. I wasn't sure if he'd ended up getting into any trouble at all and wondered if his older brother had managed to swoop in and save him (as he usually did) after the cops cut the night short. I hadn't bothered to ask.

Now, I was stood next to him in his locked bathroom, watching him snort a line of white power off of the lip of his sink.

When he stood up, he sniffed sharply a few times, briefly plugging his nose. Then he dabbed his finger on the excess power and rubbed it on his gums. He looked at me. "You're sure you don't want me to get you some?" He grinned, his blue eyes blazing bright and wide. He was getting himself excited, waiting for the high to kick in. 

"No," I replied, shaking my head and lifting myself off of the wall that I'd be leaning against as I watched him. "I've changed my mind about that."

When Cal had first suggested it to me, I'd been curious, but it was different actually watching him do it. Watching him do it reminded me of my mom. I'd never seen her do it before, but I knew she did sometimes when she went away because she'd told me. I imagined her in some hotel room with people I didn't know, her legs curled on a carpet as she snorted thin lines off of a glass coffee table; her blonde hair wild and her pupils blown wide. Then I saw myself tucking Rowan into bed, kissing his head, telling him that she would be back soon.

I wrinkled my nose and looked at the space in the sink where the power had been. Again, I shook my head. "Maybe some other time," I shrugged, staring at the white bathroom door.

"Hey, listen, if you change your mind," he said, throwing an arm around my shoulders and ruffling my hair, "come and find me."

I wasn't going to. I knew I wouldn't as soon as he offered. Already, I was feeling pretty agitated. In fact, the only reason I'd ended up coming tonight was because Cal had pretty much begged me.

After I'd gotten home from school this afternoon, my mom and I got into this big fight about nothing. She was taking a phone call in the living room— an excessively long one— while I was in the middle of watching a movie and I'd snapped at her, scowling and telling her to 'end her stupid phone call or fuck off'.

Obviously, that hadn't gone down well.

Usually, I wouldn't be so aggressive— so touchy— but I couldn't seem to help it lately. Her presence agitated me and I had no patience for her anymore. Since I had argued with her, my blood had felt uncomfortably hot and there was a jolted stirring in my gut that wouldn't stop. I'd been trying to ignore it all night.

"I will come find you," I agreed, the music from the house pulsing, throbbing, at the other end of the door; bursting against it like an animal. "Ready to go?"

He gave me a wide grin and swiped his thumb underneath his nose to clean any leftover residue before promptly unlocking the door and slipping out right between my fingers. As I left the bathroom and closed the door behind me, a hand grabbed my shoulder, selecting me out of the crowd that I'd melted into.

"Hey!" Jude shouted, his brown eyes glinting and his lips pulled into a grin. "I'm on my way to meet some of the others! You wanna come?"

"Sure," I shouted back to him, following him when he shouldered on and began leading me towards the stairs. Truthfully, I didn't really care. I could've happily floated through the party for the rest of the night by myself, not even existing or seeing. Just floating. I almost told Jude I'd changed my mind— I almost stopped following him without saying anything— but I didn't.