The Eddie Munson Tape Dates

Black Sabbath, 'Paranoid'

"This one," you chirp, handing Eddie the tape.

"Oooh, an excellent choice. Electric Funeral" he says, leaning over you, putting the tape in the deck, and pressing play.

You start to get up from Eddie's bed, "Hey! Whoa there. Where are you off to in such a hurry?" He smiles, wrestling you back down the mattress.

You look at him, confused, "We don't have to go anywhere for this one?"

He shakes his head, "Nope, this is a very localised activity he says, reaching into his bedside table for something, "Hmmm, it's here somewhere..." He trails off and gets annoyed that he has to get up to find what he needs.

"Ha, found you!" He says in a silly voice and makes his way back over, extending his hand towards you.

You slowly reach out to engage in the handshake, which feels like an incredibly bizarre thing to do with Eddie at this point in your relationship. You smile, but your brows convey absolute confusion.

As your hands meet, you feel a buzz and sharp sting, "Ow!!!" You yell, pulling your hand away, shaking it. Eddie is laughing, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

He holds up the palm of his hand to you, and you see a small round metal object in his palm attached to his finger.

"A hand buzzer???!!!!" You say, trying to take it from him, but he's too fast.

"Ah-ah-ah. No, you have to wait your turn. This was just my surprise round," he giggles, holding his hand in the air away from you.

You fold your arms and pout, "Do you at least care to explain why you've got one of those things? Or maybe why you needed to get it right now?"

"Well, it was my choice of toy from... AMERICA'S BIGGEST JOKE SHOP," he booms powerfully, his arms outstretched, performing to a crowd of one, "and I needed it right now because it's for the date you selected"

You stare at him, "You planned a date that was just you zapping me with a hand buzzer?"

"No! But it is needed for part of it. It's the forfeit." He says straightforwardly.

"A forfeit?" You say, slightly worried, looking at the door to his room.

"You're gonna love it," he says in a sing-song voice, shooting you his huge brown puppy dog eyes.

You shake your head and say aloud, "There was a time I used to be a sane human being" you look over to his eager, happy face, "Ok fine, what is this date all about?"

"Those days are gone, dear. You're on the freak bus, and we don't stop for anyone" Eddie lets out a maniacal cackle, takes off the buzzer and places it between you.

He sits cross-legged opposite you on the bed, resting his hands on his knees.

"We are going to play a little game called Truth or Dare", he says in a sinister voice customarily reserved for telling scary stories.

"Oh, ok", you smile and copy his sitting position.

"If either of us chickens out, we get buzzed. Fair?" He says, looking at you playfully from under his curls.

"Sure," you say confidently. But, of course, you had nothing to hide, so this would be plain sailing.

Eddie gives you a smirk, "You're feeling confident, are you? But, I will warn you, I'm pretty ruthless at this game, so to be fair, you can have the option to switch before you get buzzed, alright?"

You roll your eyes and laugh, "Sure, go ahead. Do your worst, Babe." You knit your brows almost condescendingly. What could be possibly ask that you wouldn't answer?